Raw Highlights: June 13, 2016
On Monday June 13, I, Michael Hotard, creator of this glorious blog, marked out so hard when the WWE came to New Orleans. It was the go-home episode before Money In The Bank and it was amazing. The show could have honestly been bad, but I wouldn’t have cared. I love being at live wrestling events more than you can possibly fathom.
The WWE opened the show paying tribute to the victims in the Orlando shooting last week. Everyone took a moment of silence to remember the 49 innocent people who lost their lives. May those 49 individuals rest in peace.
8-man Tag Team Match (The Club and Vaudevillains def. New Day and Enzo and Cass)
New Day comes out and does all the typical antics. Kofi came out rocking some Steph Curry’s and Big E and Xavier Woods gave him shit for it, which was quite entertaining. Just as they began to end their promo with New Day Rocks chants, ENZO AND CASS show up!
It was at this point I lost my shit and went nuts. I finally got to live out my dream of saying Enzo’s opener with my favorite tag team in wrestling. Once they got in the ring, Cass says they will walk out of Vegas with the titles, then it got fun.
These two teams cutting promos together are just amazeballs. Cass says we have no problem with the New Day and he likes what they are doing whether it be Booty Os, unicorns and “the massagers for her pleasure you got sticking out your forehead.”
Cass then kills Kofi about his shoes. He then talks about Francesca II saying that she was with Enzo last night on Bourbon. Xavier says that the trombone is a grown independent woman who can do what she wants. Enzo talks about having his way with Franny all night long. Xavier then says he is the only one who blows his girl.
I am pretty sure I almost fell down over the seats from laughing so hard. As we were about to have the greatest verbal joust of all time, those douchey Vaudevillains ruined it.
They also used the term troglodytes (if you don’t get it, you’re a stupid idiot) and cut their promo of why they will win.
Cue the Club. They call for everyone to shut up and that play time is over. Claim they will be the new champions and it will be easier than scoring a touchdown on the New Orleans Saints. I booed them out the building along with everyone else.
Cass then says he will make it easy, there is only one word to describe the Club and Vaudevillains!
The Club scores the pinfall during the match making them look strong heading into Sunday. It was awesome seeing all of these tag teams in the flesh. I loved every second of the promo and match. The tag team division is so damn strong right now and I could not be happier considering it has been lacking for so long.
Enzo and Cass bring every bit of energy to arenas across the country and NOLA was no different. People also went ape shit over the New Day as they should because NEW DAY ROCKS.
Ambrose Asylum Returns
Leading up the Ambrose Asylum, Shield promos kept playing bringing back sore wounds which will never heal because the break up of the Shield is something these eyes will never forget.
Ambrose’s guests were none other than his former Shield partners Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins.
Ambrose told Rollins to lighten up and have fun because the Shield had some of the best times together. Rollins reluctantly admits that he had some fun mentioning their Elimination Chamber match against the Wyatts (Watch it because it was amazing), some good matches against Evolution, sending Batista packing (Bootista chants erupt)…
But Seth said his favorite moment was driving a chair in their back.
Roman and Ambrose start giving Rollins crap about why he isn’t champion. He said he can’t help it his knee gave out from carrying the company for a better part of a year.
Rollins and Reigns go on to say why they will win before Ambrose says he doesn’t care who wins because he is cashing in the MITB contract when he wins and walking out of Vegas as champion.
Rollins begins to walk away before shoving Ambrose and the brawl begins. Rollins gets a Superman Punch and Ambrose then plants Reigns with a Dirty Deeds and stares down the MITB hanging above the ring, teasing the dream everyone has.
A SHIELD TRIPLE THREAT FOR THE TITLE
Sami Zayn def Cesaro
If you have never watched the match ups between these two guys, you’re missing out. Their two out of three falls match in NXT is a classic and one of my favorite matches ever. They have incredible chemistry together in the ring.
Earlier in the night, Cesaro said Zayn needs experience and he is overmatched because he has only been on the main roster for four months meanwhile Cesaro talks about being there for four years. The two would then face off again and this match was no different. Fantastic as expected. Zayn would eventually go on to win on a sunset flip power bomb.
AJ Styles v John Cena Contract Signing
Much like Enzo coming out, seeing AJ Styles for the first time in the flesh was awesome. I love that AJ is portraying a smarmy heel and because he faces Cena, he’s getting cheered obnoxiously loud. When the chant is loud in New Orleans, you know you’re over because the WWE crowd in NOLA is booty.
AJ says he turned the world upside down by destroying Cena and that he will do it again Sunday. He says he will be the one saying you can’t see me because you can’t beat me.
Cena says AJ Styles has a choice to make…
AJ v Cena (No Club)
AJ w/ Club v Cena
AJ says if he would have been there fifteen years ago that Cena would not be a 15 time world champion and he would be the face that runs this place. Cena gets pissed saying AJ is just like all the other indie guys who just come in and bitch and complain how it should have been them. It is time to man up and make a choice and if you make the wrong choice, he will send him back to Japan where he left his balls.
AJ takes the option without the Club and says Cena will find out real quick that he is not every other indie guy and that he will stick it to Cena’s K-Mart shopping ass.
I am so in on this rivalry regardless of what happens because these promos have been so great and the match will be even greater. I am fully expecting an 18 minute 4.5 star match this Sunday.
Kevin Owens and Alberto Del Rio def. Lucha Dragons
Kevin Owens made ADR late to the event and complained to Shane saying he should lose his spot in the MITB ladder match. ADR comes up pissed talking in Spanish and KO says I can speak language too and does so. Shane puts them in a match with Lucha Dragons with their spot in MITB on the line.
They obviously win.
KO goes to Stephanie asking what is up the BS tonight regarding the match and now Sami Zayn being on commentary. Stephanie agrees with Owens putting him on commentary. ADR interrupts and KO asks why do you always talk in spanish? ADR bitches to Steph about KO getting what he wants so she makes ADR the guest time keeper. KO makes fun of him saying “good, you can ring the little bell.”
Dean Ambrose def. Chris Jericho
Guest Ring Announcer: Cesaro
Guest Commentators: Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn
Guest Timekeeper: Albert Del Rio
First off, ADR couldn’t even ring the bell on pace.
Cesaro ring announcing was amazing. Now approaching the ring from Stupid Idiotville, Chris Jericho. Now coming down looking like he rolled out of bed, DEEEEEAN Ambrose.
KO says this will be the best match because he is on commentary. And he is of course right. He then goes on to make fun of every single person involved in the MITB match.
KO attacks Ambrose after the match. Zayn attacks Owens. Del Rio attacks Zayn before getting a huge uppercut that would chop Chuck Norris in half. All hell breaks loose. While everyone is fighting on the outside, Zayn flips off the top rope taking down everyone.
Chris Jericho who sets up the ladder and grabs the briefcase.
After the show…
An amazing dark match took place, but I am not telling you about it because you should have bought a ticket 😉