Food Fight!!

Monday Night Raw opened up with an awesome food fight in Columbus, OH. Sometimes, ok, a lot of times WWE takes holidays over the top. The food fight fit the bill, but that doesn’t mean I did not enjoy every single second of it.

Heath Slater decided to toss food at Kane and Big Show who were in the process of trying to chokeslam each other. Bold move. Thats-A-Bold-Strategy-Meme.gif

Heath Slater died shortly after as Kane and Show chokeslammed him through a table while everyone cheered, which was quite funny. The food fight continues…

Then you get a sneak peak of Kevin Owens hanging out underneath a table snacking on chips. Classic Owens. After the food fight died down, Owens got a pie to the face and raged out.

Rusev kills Titus O’Neil…Again

Titus came decked out in the red white and blue outfit as he took on the Bulgarian Brute. He certainly channeled his inner Apollo Creed which included him being killed by Rusev. Pretty much went exactly like Rocky V.

Enzo and Cass def. Social Outcasts 

The Social Outcasts came out in minutemen outfits which was absolutely amazing. What would have made this even more amazing is if we would have seen a Bo-Train…damn it. It’s long overdue.

Enzo and Cass quickly interrupt. Enzo goes on to cut his typical punny promo. My favorite part was the fact he named every single president of the United States in order. That is just impressive. I don’t care who you are. not_even_mad.gif

My favorite tag team makes quick work of my second favorite tag team.

Sasha Banks continues to own Charlotte 

The Boss is coming back with a vengeance and it is amazing. Sasha interrupted Charlotte and destroyed her on the mic. My favorite was when Charlotte told the Boss she wasn’t in the conversation and she responded with “No, I am the conversation.” Get bent Charlotte.

Sasha clears the ring. Please let her win the damn belt at Battleground!

Dean Ambrose def. The Miz 

Since Maryse returned, Miz has really become one of my favorite heels again. He has done an admirable job in his role. Perhaps my favorite heel line besides Jericho’s “stupid idiot” is Miz’s “when my hand goes up, your mouth goes shut.”

Not a bad match between the two, but there was never any doubt as to who was winning this one.

Seth Rollins def. Dolph Ziggler 

Before Ambrose could even make it up the ramp after defeating The Miz, Seth Rollins came out for his match with the showoff.

Ambrose walked right past him and then decided to walk down to the ring and walk past him again making a b-line for his seat at commentary. Rollins clearly not happy. Why would he be? Clearly that is a disadvantage.

The match between Ziggler and Rollins was fantastic. It is a shame Ziggler never had a chance because there were several near falls which made it interesting. I could watch these two go at it for hours because they are two of the best in-ring talents WWE has. Rollins ultimately hits the pedigree for the win.

Rollins walked over to the Spanish announce table after the match and stood on it shouting about Roman Reigns suspension, which is awesome. He said Roman Reigns is tarnishing his legacy, because he is. Seth Rollins took you under his damn wing in the Shield and you got suspended for the wellness policy. You stupid idiot. Dean

Ambrose stood on the other announce table and threw the belt at Rollins before hitting him with the Dirty Deeds.

Wyatt Promo 

Cue the creepy music and creepy scenery. It was another Bray Wyatt promo calling out the New Day.

I am really anxious for this rivalry to take off. It has been a slow build as the Wyatt’s are just making appearances again. Slow is sometimes the best route and I think that is the case here. I am really wondering if the Wyatt’s will go over on the New Day eventually setting up a split. Although, it is not something I want to see.

It may have run it’s course and the brand split is coming so who knows?

Vicki Guerrero 

I love cameos and WWE is giving us everything from Teddy Long (Holla!), Johnny Ace (Best of luck in your future endeavors) and now Vicki freaking Guerrero…EXCUSE ME!! GIna8yF.gif

I really do miss all these people and they’re making a mockery out of all of them which is making for great TV.

Obviously she came to vow to run Smackdown. Let me just say, smackdown may become the “A” show after all this hype. 

John Cena v The Club 

Cena comes out spewing the same stuff about AJ Styles not beating him fair and he doesn’t mind losing if he were the better man, but he isn’t. He needs help blah blah blah.

AJ, Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows come out and cut the best promo ever. They talk about their favorite pastime…beating up John Cena. What will they do for Memorial Day? Beat up John Cena. What will they do for Halloween? Beat up John Cena.

The promos between Cena and Styles have just been awesome from both sides honestly. Last week, Cena was great. This week was AJ’s turn. The Phenomenal One talks about how no one wants to help John Cena before attacking the leader of the Cenation.

Badaboom cue the realest guys in the room! Yup! Enzo and Cass come to save the day and the score is evened. How You Doin chants erupt! We may have a new layer to this rivalry. Deal!

Xavier Woods continues to be spooked 

New Day comes out happy and positive as ever, except Xavier Woods. He heeds the warning to Big E and Kofi that the Wyatts should not be taken lightly otherwise we could see the end of the New Day before walking out of the ring on his buddies.

Xavier Woods promo was on fucking point. It was really cool to see a serious side of X, which is one of the things I love about WWE. Some of the talent should never have a mic *cough Reigns cough* and then there are guys like X. Some of these people are talented actors. Just awesome.

Team USA (Dudleyz, Jack Swagger, Big Show, Mark Henry, Zack Ryder, Apollo Crews and Kane) v Multi National Team (Kevin Owens, Chris Jericho, Sheamus, Lucha Dragons, Cesaro, Albert Del Rio and Sami Zayn) 

The promo from Team USA earlier in the night was absolutely ridiculous to the point of chuckling. Big Show is seen pumping his team up with some good ole fashioned Murican music.

The match itself was of course just people flying around because 16 men were involved. Of course they will have some fun on 4th of July. People were getting eliminated left and right and it ended fairly quick. Zack Ryder scored the final pinfall for the win for team USA.

WOO WOO WOO WOO YOU KNOW IT!

Anytime Zack Ryder wins, it is win for WWE. It is win for the fans. It is a win for the United States of America.

Goodnight my fellow Americans.

Murica

 

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