Intercontinental Battle Royal
The Miz opened up the number one contender spot in the form of a battle royal as he sat on commentary.
A bunch of mid card to irrelevant guys were in the match. Dolph Ziggler of course put on a great showing as he usually does. The final four came down to the show off, Apollo Crews, Baron Corbin and Darren Young.
Darren Young won after laying on the ground as Corbin eliminated Ziggler followed by Crews and the lone wolf eliminating each other. Bob Backlund goes absolutely ape shit for his protege and so does the crowd.
MAKE DARREN YOUNG GREAT AGAIN!
Randy Orton return announced
Randy Orton returns at Battleground as a guest on Jericho’s highlight reel. Thank God because my life has been missing RKOs OUTTA NOWHERE!
It was announced that he will be locking up with Brock Lesnar at Summerslam following the beast incarnate’s big win over Mark Hunt at UFC 200. Remember when UFC and WWE hated each other and now there is cross advertising? WTF. Brock Lesnar really does get whatever the hell he wants. Then again, who is really going to fight him over it? Not I.
From the second it was leaked, I was hooked. It is a fresh match up. Both were brought up together along with John Cena and Batista so it should be a great one.
Earlier in the night Shane said they would have an Ambrose Asylum, cue Seth FREAKING Rollins.
Seth Rollins then talks about how he is the best journalist around, which of course he is. He is Seth Rollins. He pitches his idea for the Rollins Report to Shane and Stephanie. They grant him his wish. Please make this a regular thing!
The video shows Seth ripping Roman Reigns a new one for being a cheater and asking him questions about his suspension and about his thoughts on Ambrose as champion. Naturally, the video was edited to make him say all the wrong answers and it was heel gold. There is a reason I say Seth Rollins over everything…
except Kevin Owens and Sasha Banks of course.
Dean Ambrose stops the party from going on any further as he enters the arena soon after the interview played. The two of them banter back and forth.
It really does amaze me sometimes how good these two are together, both in ring and on the mic. The promos from both of them were powerful and I loved every second of it. Ambrose continues to be the reckless champion who doesn’t care when and where he fights. Rollins teases the fans with a match right there in Detroit before saying nah, next week.
Kevin Owens def. Cesaro
Sami Zayn made his way out to commentary before Kevin Owens’ match. Obviously the two started brawling because there is no stopping this rivalry. After Sami was forced to leave, Kevin is standing in the ring asking where he is going.
After the dust settled, an amazing match got underway as expected. Kevin Owens finished the swiss superman with a pancake neck breaker, which is one of the things I love about Owens. He has so many great moves you don’t see often.
After the match, Owens grabs a headset and tells the commentary team, “there’s a lot of talk about who is the best in the world. I’m not even trying to be the best in the world and that is exactly what I am. You know who is not…”
He enacts his revenge by attacking KO from behind eventually throwing him into the ring, letting Cesaro give him the big swing.
THIS RIVALRY NEVER GETS OLD!
New Day goes to Wyatt Property
Remember the parking lot brawls? That is basically what this was. Except you can add creepy music, weird camera cuts and where you would expect to find snakes and alligators.
Overall, the whole thing was pretty stupid until the end where dozens of sheep mask pop up with lanterns. That was pretty creepy.
Enzo and Cass def. Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson (DQ)
Enzo and Cass giving John Cena reinforcements last week on Raw obviously wasn’t a one time deal. They are obviously being inserted into this rivalry which will help elevate them further without getting involved in the title picture. Brilliant move by the WWE here. YOU CAN’T TEACH THAT.
Enzo quote of the night…
Calling the club “chicken tenders” for having no back bone.
The two of them talk about helping John Cena even the odds. AJ Styles says Cena doesn’t care about Enzo and Cass (he took the night off) and they should walk away before they get destroyed.
After AJ took out Cass during the match getting the club disqualified, they surround Enzo in the ring ready to make their move when…
AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA!
3 on 3 brawl baby! The three of them rid the ring of the Club. CENA chants erupt.
This has been a couple of weeks in a row where Cena has had some pretty loud pops and I am sure Enzo and Cass are helping that, but damn.
Sasha Banks destroys Dana Brooke
Dana Brooke is just annoying. Why are you even there?
After some heel tactics from Brooke, Sasha of course makes her tap with the bank statement. Charlotte starts vomiting words out of her mouth. Blah Blah Blah.
Sasha will eventually kill you and all is right with the world.
Vince McMahon Major Announcement
Vince comes out and shits all over both his son Shane and daughter Stephanie. Vince says he wants more competition. He tells the two of them they have to convince him who is running Smackdown Live.
This turned into a political rally with Shane basically turning into a winning version of Bernie Sanders. Whoops, shots fired. He represents good change to the WWE and Vince obviously picks his son as the commissioner of Smackdown Live.
The commissioner of Monday Night Raw is of course Stephanie McMahon. Vince called it the “flagship, three-hour show.” Part of that makes me believe Smackdown will never be above “B” show status despite all the hype. But, who knows.
He says Shane and Stephanie both have to find a General Manager by next Monday otherwise the chairman will name one for them.
PLEASE BRING BACK JOHNNY ACE AND VICKI GUERRERO!
The show ends with Steph slapping her brother. Shane then kisses his sister on the cheek after she begs him to punch her. She fell going down the steps to the ring.
It is almost draft day WWE universe!
Spoiler alert: coming soon, my friend and contributor Richard Fischer and I will release our respective draft choices if we were running each brand this week.