I imagine it went something like this…

Hope Solo is sitting in her hotel room after the United States lost in a penalty shootout to Sweden. Her teeth are cringing. She is seething over the premature eliminaton. She begins pacing back and forth past the TV, desk and fridge at the foot of her bed. The premature elimination for the shot at an Olympic gold is eating away at her brain. Unfortunately, there is no one in the room for her to kick or punch (domestic violence and all). So she sits down at the desk, grabs her pencil and soccer ball eraser and pulls out her diary which has her face plastered all over it. She writes…

the-beheld-hope-solo.pngDear Diary, 

Today, we lost to Sweden in the quarter finals of the Olympics. Those bitches from Sweden were so mean. They played like a bunch of bitches and they beat us. All they did was pass the ball around back and barely tried to attack us. It’s not fair Diary! 🙁 Those girls are just a bunch of stupid idiots. I hate them. Now I am pissed. I just don’t know what to do anymore. 

XOXO,

Hope 

Dear Hope,

One of the things I have always loved and admired about the US Women’s team is their character and respect for opponents. I remember watching Mia Hamm, Julie Foudy, Briana Scurry and Brandi Chastain growing up. Even though the teams have always been stacked from top to bottom, they were never salty in defeat. They gave their opponents the utmost respect.201503_1020_iceia

Then they get this sword swallower Hope Solo. After the US was eliminated, this is what she told the press…

“I thought that we played a courageous game. I thought we had many opportunities on goal. I think we showed a lot of heart. We came back from a goal down. I’m very proud of this team. But I also think we played a bunch of cowards. The best team did not win today. I strongly believe that. I think you saw American heart. You saw us give everything we had today. Sweden dropped off. They didn’t want to open play. They didn’t want to pass the ball. They didn’t want to play great soccer. It was a combative game, a physical game. Exactly what they wanted and exactly what their gameplan was. They dropped into a 50. They didn’t try and press. They didn’t want to open the game. And they tried to counter with long balls. We had that style of play when Pia was our coach. I don’t think they’re going to make it very far in the tournament. I think it was very cowardly. But they won. They’re moving on and we’re going home.” 

I will agree with Solo on one thing…the better team did not win. The US team is far better than Sweden and pretty much every other team on the planet. The US is a juggernaut in women’s soccer. However, isn’t that what makes soccer such a “beautiful game?”

One of the things I absolutely love about soccer is the uncertainty with every game. In the 2014 men’s World Cup, the US tied with Portugal, but it felt like a game they should have won by at least two goals. They defeated Ghana 2-1 in a game that felt like they should have lost by two. It is a game of minimal opportunities…so take advantage.

I would not have a problem with her saying that they were the better team and they came up short today. It happens in soccer all the time.

But really? You resorted to calling the team that defeated you a bunch of cowards because they had a strategy in place to make your team uncomfortable and not feed into your strengths. Are you fucking kidding me, Hope?

by-tattling-youreYou sound like the little shit on the playground who constantly tells on classmates for cheating in freeze tag.

Not only did you bash the strategy of an inferior team, but you turn around and say that your former coach would use the same tactic when you had someone like Abby Wambach who the team could sail the ball to (header game strong). It was a tactic that your team mastered.

What Sweden did was smart. It was tactical. It got the job done.

You have once again found yourself wrapped in a controversy because of your lack of self-awareness, arrogance and prove that it is you, not Sweden, who is the true coward. You could not be a professional, take the loss, learn from it and leave it on the field.

You are the prime example of someone I would absolutely trash mentally on a pitch, court or gridiron. You are the person who runs your mouth rampant, but when the chips are down you place blame elsewhere. I have experienced many people like you in my legendary endeavors in the world of recreational sports. All of them have one thing in common, I get under their skin. I just hope someone you compete against in the next World Cup verbally attacks you for an entire match just so I can watch you PMS all over the pitch. tumblr_lruqe6UjoX1qdiwudo1_400.gif

The best part about the Olympics is the respect these athletes have for one another. It is awesome seeing the world set aside their pathetic differences for five freaking seconds and hug each other and congratulate one another.

You, Hope, continue to prove how much of an embarrassment you are for the USWNT and sport. You have all the talent in the world as a goalkeeper, but you will never be worth mentioning with the all-time greats because you are the coward.

To quote one of the great internet trolls who found his way on a comment section…

“Sodium, atomic number 11, was first isolated by Hope Solo in 1807. A chemical component of salt, she named it Na in honor of the saltiest region on Earth – North America.”

Ironically, there is no hope for you.

Sincerely,

A person who despises your existence

PS- You may be able to beat up your nephew, but you don’t want to see me. 200_s

 

 

 

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