Unapologetically Me

New Orleans Saints Schedule Prediction

The Saints have now lost nine straight preseason contests heading into 2016. I am not one to put all of my eggs in a basket for exhibition games and the preseason has never told me much about what to expect for the regular season.

However, it doesn’t hurt my case for the Saints. I know we (Saints fans) all rock out to the tune of “Stand Up and Get Crunk” for every touchdown. This year, the saying may as well be “Stand Up and Get Bent.” This is not a good football team and it won’t be for a while until the Saints get their shit together in the front office. So here are my picks for all 16 games this year. For the record, I went through the schedule before preseason and the picks are exactly the same as it was then.DumpsterFire2

Week 1 – Oakland Raiders (Loss 27-21) 

Oakland is going to be a sound football team this year. That offense has potential to be explosive and the defense is going to give the Saints offensive line fits with the pass rush led by Khalil Mack. I know it is a home game, but I got news for you, being in the Mercedes Benz Superdome does not mean a damn thing anymore (7-9 at home last two years).

Week 2- @New York Giants (Loss 41-35) 

I know the secondary has some promising young players, which is all well and good, but the Giants have ODB. This game will be much like last year when we saw that 52-49 shootout where both QBs went ape shit.

Week 3- Atlanta Falcons (Win 30-28) 

Two words: prime time. It also happens to be against the biggest rival and another team who just isn’t that good. I will give the black and gold a win here.

Week 4- @San Diego Chargers (Win 27-24) 

If there is one offensive line in worse shape than the Saints, it is the Chargers. Chargers will be competing for another top 5 pick next year.

Week 5- Bye

Chalk this up as a loss for having a bye week incredibly early this year.

Week 6- Carolina Panthers (Loss 31-20)

Lol, loss.

Week 7- @Kansas City Chiefs (Loss 27-20)

The Chiefs are nothing exciting, but they are a damn fine football team. They also don’t make many mistakes on offense thanks to Alex Smith.

Week 8- Seattle Seahawks (Loss 28-17) 

Yeah, no. I am being generous by giving the Saints three scores against the Legion of Boom. No garbage time comeback for Brees in this one.

Week 9- @San Francisco 49ers (Win 34-28)

I have no idea what to make of the niners with Chip Kelly in all honesty. For roster talent alone, I will give the Saints this one.

Week 10- Denver Broncos (Loss 17-14) 

This is going to be a crap shoot. I just don’t trust the Broncos offense, but I do trust their defense to obliterate the Saints. Like John Madden would say, if you can’t score more point than the other team, you aren’t going to win the football game.

Week 11- @Carolina Panthers (Loss 28-10)

Prime time won’t be so favorable this go round.

Week 12- Los Angeles Rams (Win 21-16) 

Jeff Fisher can’t win more than seven games and the Rams have a lot of holes much like the Saints.

Week 13- Detroit Lions (Win 41-22)

Yay, the Saints have five wins. This will be the one game they pour it on. 

Week 14- @Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Loss 27-24) 

Crab Legs goes over in this one. Heyo, Saints are officially peaking at .500.

Week 15- @Arizona Cardinals (Loss 41-17)

Oh God, stop the damn match. This one gets ugly quick.

Week 16- Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Win 31-17) 

The Saints go over on Crab Legs and company.

Week 17- @Atlanta Falcons (Loss 28-27) 

Normally I would be stoked for the Saints to close the season with the Falcons, but considering they both will be playing for nothing…(insert fart noise).

Final Record (6-10)

The schedule is rough and the roster is weak. The only reason I could see them getting to 8-8 potentially is because Drew Brees is still the quarterback. How many games do they appear down and out and here come the Saints? As soon as teams begin going to conservative defense, the Saints start padding stats and give false hope of a comeback. It is inevitable and it will happen in more than one game this year. If you expect playoffs, I am willing to bet you on that. Send me an email at youwilllose@gmail.com.



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