Make the Pro Bowl Great Aga…For the First Time Ever
The Pro Bowl is the worst all-star event in all of sports, period. The NBA all-star weekend, while meaningless, is at least fun to watch. The MLB all-star game is at least meaningful with the winning conference getting home field advantage for the World Series. Those two sports have celebrity games and gimmick events like the slam dunk contest and home run derby.
What does the NFL have? A boring and risky game with nothing on the line. I would rather have someone take a blow torch to my eyes then watch the Pro Bowl. It is a shit show.
To make matters worse, it is fan-voted just like the rest of the all-star teams. I am over it. Every year, there are a handful of players who get snubbed. I am not going to get into all the snubs this season.
I will say this…I would much rather coaches from around the league and analysts like Jon Gruden, Greg Cosell and guys like that voting for the leagues best. You know, people who actually watch game film. Instead, people who say “bruh, he so cold on Madden” are voting for this bullshit.
I am here to give you a million-dollar idea to make the Pro Bowl great for the first time ever.
Ditch the one game and host a “Pro Bowl” weekend in different cities each year. The players selected don’t even participate anymore. Last year, 43 players sat out and each team holds 44. Almost an entire team refused to play. Score one for the NFL.
Open the voting at the same time each year. I would prefer to see the NFL take the decision out of the fans’ hands, but if not, so be it. It doesn’t matter who votes with the idea I have.
Make the Pro Bowl a three day special. Friday night will have a draft. Saturday will be a skills challenge. Sunday will be a flag football tournament.
I would have the entire weekend televised by the NFL network or ESPN, whoever the hell wants to pick it up. I don’t give a shit. But for the love of God, make it fun.
Friday – Draft
Add a fifth receiver to each conference, which would make 90 total players. The NFL currently has six QBs in the Pro Bowl. Now that we established the rosters, this is where the fun begins.
Most die hard sports fans salivate over drafts of any kind, whether it is fantasy sports or real sports. There is nothing more fun than uncertainty of where a player will end up.
On the Friday of Pro Bowl weekend, they can have a 16 round snake style draft with the six QBs picking their respective teams. Now I know you are saying, “17 players on six teams? That doesn’t equal 90 players.” You also have 12 celebrities in the draft and each team is required to have two celebrities. Imagine Justin Bieber guarding Julio Jones…glorious. Honestly, JB may win that battle if he starts singing because Julio would quit mid route to admire the talent of the Biebs. Yeah, I am a Bieber fan so suck it.
Can you imagine Kiper on draft day though?
“Todd, Todd, Todd, Todd, Todd, I gotta be honest with you. I think Derek Carr reached here taking Channing Tatum in the 6th round. I get it. He has a solid physique and a funny guy, but don’t you think the ladies will be swarming all weekend? That could be a huge distraction. I just don’t think it is a safe pick here, Todd.”
“I’ll tell you what man, this as good of a pick as you’re going to get in the sixth round and need a celebrity. You’re other options are Larry the Cable Guy and Justin Bieber, Tatum is the way to go. This guy has a beautiful body. It is very fluid and he can really play the jump ball and take the top off the defense. If you take the D out of Draft, you got raft. Channing is going to help them float to the top…man.”
After the draft, obviously the coverage continues with post draft interviews, draft grades, dark horses to win the tournament, etc.
Saturday – Skills Challenge
On Saturday, each team competes in a skills challenge. The teams will compete in obstacle courses, the 40 yard dash, catching from jug machines and various events like that. Interviews will be conducted throughout the day during the events. There would be a point system for first, second and third place. The overall winner of the skills challenge on Saturday wins x amount of dollars to donate to their charity of choice.
Sunday – Flag Football Tournament
On Sunday, this is where the flag football tournament takes place. The two QBs who have the most yards selected to the Pro Bowl get first round byes in the tournament. This is set up exactly like the NFL playoffs. The one seed plays the worst surviving seed from the first round and the second seed plays the other team.
- 20 minutes per half (running clock, except last two minutes)
- 80×40 field (10 yard line to 10 yard line)
- Two timeouts per half
- 8 v 8 (1 celebrity on the field at all times)
- 20 yards for 1st down (30 yard line, 50 yard line, 30 yard line)
- 2 point conversion 20 yards out
- Extra point – 35 yard field goal
- No rush on any kicks or punts, therefore no fakes either
The back of the end zone will be at the 10 yard line due to the kicking and punting game.
This will compete field goals relatively manageable. Teams can elect to kick a field goal or punt on fourth down.
After scoring a touchdown, teams will elect to kick or go for two. That is where the kickers come in to play. Don’t wait too late to draft one, there are two kickers and two punters.
The winner of the tournament also wins x amount of dollars to donate to charity of choice.
This idea is fucking gold and I would love to see this happen.