Unapologetically Me

Why New Orleans Sucks

As crime continues to rise in New Orleans, it is further proving the sentiment I have always believed…The Big Easy is one overrated city.

That doesn’t mean I can’t and have never had a good time in the Big Easy because that would be a lie. But, I am not going to pretend that NOLA is the holy grail of American cities like most of the New Orleanians.

Natives talk about the culture and history of the city as if no other American cities have culture or history. Sure, Nola has Mardi Gras and tons of festivals. But let’s be honest, how much would people care if it wasn’t filled with booze and tits?yf3o2.jpg

They will then tell you how great the food is here and how no other cities compare. You have obviously never had Clam Chowder at Doyle’s in Boston or Chicken Parm from Carmine’s in New York. Sure I like Beignets and crawfish. Actually, I love crawfish. That isn’t enough for me to sit here and pretend we are better than everyone else though.

We hear about the southern hospitality here and how people are friendly. I have talked to some great people in every city I have visited from New York to Boston to Nashville to Atlanta to Dallas to Eugene, Oregon to San Diego.

No matter where I go, I can find people to talk to.

One of the stereotypes I got from people who have been or heard about the Northeast is that people are rude assholes. They aren’t necessarily rude, they just don’t have time for your bullshit. I love the fact that Boston is filled with a bunch of blunt potty mouths. That is my kind of people.

At least, those people are not pulling out guns shooting everyone, which is ultimately why I am writing this. I am not here to knock the history and the fun you can have in the city, but the crime outweighs all of that. It makes me not want to go.nola-crime-meme.png

Every time I venture off into the city, I stay vigilant. I am constantly checking my surroundings because I don’t know when some asshole is going to try and mug me. Not that I would be able to fend off a couple muggers who wield weapons, but if I am going to get shot, stabbed or punched, I want to see it coming.

I was with my wife this past weekend at the River Walk in the CBD and we had a great time, but you bet your ass I was staying aware of my surroundings.

New Orleans is one of the most dangerous cities in the US.

People can defend it and say it is because tourists make dumb decisions and you are probably right, but it still doesn’t make the city any better.

I have made some pretty dumb decisions in Nashville, Boston and New York, but not once did I feel unsafe.

I walked back to my hotel alone in Nashville while intoxicated.

I have already established that I took a dump in a park in Boston. That park was dark as can be.

I saw a homeless man get tossed to the ground and pounded in New York after grabbing some girl inappropriately (Thanks Trump). I viewed it from afar, but nonetheless I didn’t take off in the other direction.

All of which were pretty stupid decisions. That tends to be what happens when you drink heavily, which is what NOLA is all about.

You shouldn’t venture outside of populated areas. You shouldn’t walk alone. You probably shouldn’t get too hammered to where you make those decisions. Kind of hard when you have downed three hand grenades among other booze.lets-get-weird-workaholics.gif

As of June 4, 703 people have been shot within the last year. Nearly two people per day. As of May 31, 300 people have been shot just in 2017 alone. Looks like New Orleans is off to a fine start in 2017.

NOLA has the third highest murder rate in the country (as of June), behind Baltimore and St. Louis, both of which coincidentally had uprisings due to the Freddie Gray and Michael Brown incidents.

People are getting attacked in all parts of the city now. The areas we have always considered “safe” are now dangerous.

Sorry, the smell of piss and getting mugged isn’t worth the risk for a few drinks that I can have in the comfort of my own home.

Colin Cowherd said it best, dark clouds over New Orleans is God’s way of saying ‘I don’t want to know what’s going on down there.”

Quite frankly, I don’t either.







6 responses to “Why New Orleans Sucks”

  1. RJ Alongi Avatar
    RJ Alongi

    You nailed it.


    1. Michael Hotard Avatar
      Michael Hotard

      Thanks my man! Glad you enjoyed the column!


  2. Nathan Lee Avatar
    Nathan Lee

    I was in NOLA in 2016 for my 1st and only visit.

    What I loved:
    1.) The food!
    2.) Bourbon Street’s night life
    3.) The live brass music. Wow!

    What I didn’t like:
    1.) The filthiness of the place
    2.) The locals…many were very unfriendly. Some of the most unfriendly locals I’ve ever met in any city to be honest, though the artists in the arts district were nice. Many of the locals I bumped into though were not nice or downright quick to insult you. Some even threatened me randomly, until they saw that I carried a knife and they stopped
    3.) The expense – loved to visit, but wow is it expensive out there.

    All in all, I loved the history and culture, but I think I’d rather do Vegas more often than NOLA.


    1. Michael Hotard Avatar
      Michael Hotard

      Wow! Thanks for you comment and feedback. Dude honestly, I’m kind of shocked by 2. Typically the locals are really friendly honestly.


  3. Gregory Espenan Avatar
    Gregory Espenan

    Just to preface this comment, I’m indeed a local from Nola. I have to say you’re absolutely correct on the points that you make; but I still feel that it’s necessary to point out that is in fact just another big city, and like so many other cities in the US, it of course has it’s own culture, as well as it’s fair share of problems. It should come as no surprise that locals of any city are going to hype up their hometown, and of course tourists are going to want to spend a night out at the bars in the “legendary New Orleans.” But quite frankly, I despise the fact that people commonly know New Orleans as the place to just go party and see tits. I don’t think that you’d be doing yourself justice if you don’t go to New Orleans with a local who knows what they’re doing and can both save your wallet and show you what Nola has to offer, which is a statement that’s not exclusive to just New Orleans. But in this case, Nola has so much more than just cheap alcohol and parties. And as for the crime, like any other city, it has its bad spots and it has its safe spots. But again, that’s why you should go with someone who knows where to go. I agree that a lot of things are a bit over hyped (I’m guilty of doing it myself), but in the end, it comes down to a matter of whether or not you simply like the city for what it is and what it has to fully offer, both good and bad, superficial and genuine.


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