The auditions for America’s Got Talent came to a close last Tuesday. Instead of ranting with some ridiculous intro, let’s get right to it. Only thing I will say before, Tyra Banks sucks as host.

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Chase Goehring 

Anytime someone comes out and sings an original song, I am intrigued. If you look him up, people say next Ed Sheeran. I like him, but slow your fucking role. Ed Sheeran is a god. I actually loved Goehring’s song though. I loved that he plays guitar and has a pretty nice voice. But what set him over for me was the rap part of his original. Sick!

Preacher Lawson

Bruhhhh. I loved him. He was honestly my favorite audition overall. If there is a style of comedy I like, it is someone who plays up racial stereotypes. He did it PERFECTLY! Plus, what a great name, right?

Colin Cloud

Interesting. That is what I love about Colin Cloud. He has this mysterious vibe to him which is great. In his audition interview, he mentioned how he has learned to read people by body language, clothes and everything in between. They are dubbing him a “real life Sherlock Holmes.” I can’t wait to see his next act.

Darci Lynn

If there is one talent I have the biggest respect for, it is ventriloquism. I was pumped for this girl when she won the Golden Buzzer. Not only was she good, but she freaking sang and sang well. I like that she is bringing back the act. The last person to win with ventriloquism was Terry Fator in Season 2.

In the Stairwell

Three words. Pitch Perfect Fan. Being the fanboy I am of that movie, an acapella group, yes please! I was enamored with them from start to finish.

Christian Guardino

I love the humility of this kid. You could tell how genuinely shocked and happy he was when he got the Golden Buzzer. He was so damn nervous which made it all that much better. Let’s not forget he crushed Who’s Loving You by the late great Michael Jackson.

Acts I Need to See More OfPuddles-Pity-Party-sings-Chandelier-on-Americas-Got-Talent-2017-Premiere

Puddles Pity Party

His rendition of Sia’s Chandelier was amazing. It was a total shock. I had no idea what to expect from his act. I am curious as to what happens during the judge cuts. Where does he go from here?

Singing Trump

When you talk about timely, this is the most timely act I have ever seen. This guy’s Trump impression is spot on. I love that he never breaks character. But lip syncing? Singing Trump is entertaining, sure. But, not exactly a million dollar act.

The Quiddlers

I have no idea what to make of this act! But I absolutely loved it! People running around on their hands dressed as the village people. That was awesome! I have never seen anything like it. I wouldn’t say love it yet, but definitely want to see more.

Mad Science

Yeah Mr. White. Yeah Science! Science is entertaining. Chemicals reacting is always interesting, but I want to see what next act will have in store. If done right, I would pay to see a show in Vegas of this.

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Daniel Ferguson

Britain’s Got Talent featured the EXACT same thing last year. His impressions were good, but he used the same damn ones as the guy from BGT. Originality is lacking.

Dancing Pumpkin

I feel like this person is trying to be the next Tape Face. Sorry, you’re not that good.

Limbo Queen

She had some pretty impressive bends and limbo stunts. However, if all she is doing is limbo, save it for someone else. That will get old. Kudos for that kind of flexibility, but I am not paying to see that.

Mandy Harvey

Before I get crushed for this one. I think her act was great. It is really impressive that despite being deaf, she hasn’t let that stop her from singing and playing music. While the act was good, the story behind was overplayed. This girl was sitting in class one day and just realized she was deaf? Sorry. That doesn’t add up.

Biggest DisappointmentRobertnash

Robert De Niro

He looked like Robert De Niro and nailed the impression perfectly. His material just fucking sucked. I absolutely love good impressionists. If he hired someone to write his jokes, he would be a million dollar act, easy!

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Light Balance 

Holy Shit! This was my favorite thing on AGT since Fighting Gravity. Singers, dancers, magicians, it’s all the same. Cool, you have a good voice. Cool, you know how to dance. That is all well and good, but what is going to make you different? Why are you different from a talent standpoint than the person before you? I love the feel good stories, but they always get the Golden Buzzers. Who really is the most talented though? This act had freaking dancing lights to go along with dancers. I would pay top dollar to go watch this for an hour or two. This was my favorite act, by far. If there is one thing Tyra Banks did good, it was give them the golden buzzer.

 

 

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