When my wife and I announced our pregnancy back in March, I think I have heard every cliche’ in the book since then.
- Your world is about change…in a good way
- There is nothing like it
- It is the best gift you could ever receive
- You are going to be on his time
You can pretty much add any one that I may have forgotten to the list. They are all pretty accurate.
My world has definitely shifted and unlike some people who hesitate before saying “in a good way,” it is the best thing to ever happen. There is absolutely nothing that can even compare to what the last 48 hours have been. I am definitely on his time. Although, I am trying to make time for myself like writing this blog. The nurse just brought him back and he is contently making weird noises and snoozing. I probably should be doing the latter as well, like my wife. But, screw it.
So far, so good. I love this whole dad thing. It is pretty awesome.
My wife had gone to her doctor on Monday afternoon to make sure little dude was still doing well. Everything was looking good. She told me we had our induction date set…if she made it there. That must have been a funny joke for Finn. He had other plans.
I made it home around 7:00pm and she told me she felt like she was having minor contractions. They were far apart…roughly 10-11 minutes. They were not lasting very long and they were manageable.
Maybe around 8:30pm, the contractions began getting a little closer together (8 minutes) and she was working through them like a boss. Still not too much pain.
As the night wore on, the contractions kept getting closer together and getting stronger. By 9:30-10:00ish, she was in moderate pain and they were close to the 5-minute mark. She began feeling very uncomfortable, but the pain was manageable.
She was ready to go to bed, but we decided to ride it out and see where it was going. I sat in the room after my shower and watched as she gracefully made it through each contraction, reminding her to take deep breaths and focus on that.
We had a little bit of a false alarm two days prior, so we went to the hospital only to be sent home. Something was telling me this was the real thing. This wasn’t a false alarm.
The night continued to move on and her contractions kept getting stronger and longer. Around 12:00am, I told Mallisa if she continued to have contractions until 12:40 (an hour after she reached 5 minutes in between), we should go to the hospital. I did some dishes that needed to be done and began getting all of our bags together and we made a move.
We arrived at the hospital around 1:00am and I could tell how much pain she was in at this point. The worst part was…it was just beginning.
We were put in the triage room to find out if this was in fact labor. They came in and checked, she was still only 1.5 centimeters dilated. I am thinking myself, what the fuck did we just get into? I see her wincing in pain so how is this only going to get worse? Ask and you shall receive. The contractions were beginning to get AWFUL around 4:00am.
Despite her being hunched over in pain, our nurse instructed for Mallisa to walk as that can help induce labor and speed it up. She was only about 1.5 cm at this point. Still a long way to go. We went for a 20-30 minute walk around 5:15am and we would stop once those contractions hit. We worked through it and kept walking.
For me. I may not be the one in pain, but watching my wife suffer through that kind of agonizing pain was pissing me off. I haven’t slept in close to 24 hours. Being fatigued and watching her in pain was causing me to become agitated.
I wanted someone to blame so naturally I am getting pissed because the on-call doctor won’t give the go-ahead to the nurse for the epidural or bring her into the labor room. Hindsight is always 20/20 and I understand why they did not want to give the green light.
But, that goes to show how clouded your judgment can become in stressful situations like the one the person I love most was in. I felt like that person who always wants to speak to the manager.
After going for a walk, she finally made it to 2cms so we were making progress. It was super slow though.
Around 6:00:6:15, we were told we would be brought to the labor and delivery room. FINALLY! End this woman’s pain please! We still had another two hours to go unfortunately. By this point, she was on the verge of tears and talking about how she couldn’t do this anymore. She managed to fight through it. Better than I could have.
It was at that point, I realized how strong the woman I married was. Despite her tiny 5’2 frame, this woman would put anyone to shame. Proud isn’t the word to describe how I feel about her for dealing with everything over the last 48 hours.
She is truly amazing and I love that girl more than anything. Without her, I wouldn’t have this gift. Without, her grace and composure through that pain, I would not have had the strength to get through watching it.
I know that is weird to say because she is the one suffering, but that was agonizing for me because all I could do was support and try to help her breath through it. You feel helpless.
Finally, around 8:15am (after 7 hours contractions) she was finally able to get epidural. Obviously, I had to leave the room. That scared me because I know how intimidating the process is. Of course, she was fine.
At this point, she started moving along rapidly…because why wouldn’t she when she can’t feel it?
I went back into the room at 9:15am after they finished the epidural and got her situated. Here we were at 6cm. THIS BABY IS FINALLY COMING! We continued to wait for another two hours. When the nurse came in to check Mallisa at roughly 11:00am, she felt a head and it was time.
FINALLY, 10 cms! Let’s fucking gooooooooo!
We did two rounds of pushing with the nurse to get a feel for how hard and how much force she needed to give. Her doctor came in to get everything set up because Finn wasn’t waiting anymore. I am watching as they put all these towels, mats and covers around.
In my head, I am like why the fuck are we in an episode of Dexter? At this point, I haven’t slept much. My adrenaline is kicking and I am ready to meet my son.
We make it through the first contraction and I was almost positive I saw a head. I have never seen this happen before so I wasn’t sure.
By the second contraction, I knew it was the top of my boy’s head. Unfortunately, he shares my thin ass hair. Sorry buddy. #SaveFinnHotardsHairline
We went through three more contractions and as he got closer…the tears began flowing…my heart started racing…my anxiety started climbing…my excitement was growing…my emotions had no idea what to do.
I could not contain myself once I saw that head begin to crown. I was standing there with my hand rubbing Mallisa’s head encouraging her to keep pushing and that he was almost here. I was acting as her eyes as she was not able to see. I remember saying “he’s here you did it” when I finally saw his head finally pop out. I literally couldn’t deal.
When his face finally turned toward me on the way out, my heart just melted with pure joy and happiness. There is nothing like watching your baby enter this world. It is a remarkable feeling.
I know Mal couldn’t see, but her face said it all. “Just let me see my baby!” She literally held him as the two of us cried over this miracle we were blessed with. That feeling is euphoric. It is so intense and so real. Just pure raw emotions at its finest. There really aren’t enough words to accurately describe it.
The biggest piece of advice I can give any father or father-to-be is be encouraging during the entire process. I know how frustrating it can be when things aren’t going as quick as you like it. And the biggest thing, enjoy it. Enjoy every moment good and bad because that little boy or girl will be SO WORTH IT.
We spent the rest of the day with family and our new little bundle of joy. We really appreciate everyone who came and all the kind words of encouragement and congratulations for our sweet little man.
While I love every second of having Finn around, the realness hit last night. After limited (I mean less than three hours total) sleep from the last day and a half prior, my little dude would not stop crying last night. Mallisa would feed him. I would change him. We would take turns holding him. We would burp him. Nothing was working.
We were left with a screaming crying baby on and off for about seven hours. I was able to sleep from roughly 1-3:00am. I was up for two more hours catering to him and then slept from 5-9:00am getting up only when he needed to be changed. Bless my wife’s heart, that poor women is getting hardly any sleep. Even when I take him for a little bit, his little groans wake her up.
He definitely gave us a warm welcome to parenthood, especially when he almost peed on me and instead got himself…sucker!
I find myself internally saying whenever he gets frustrated that “he is a baby and if I get frustrated, he will too.” It is a matter of taking deep breaths and staying composed. I don’t want him to know I am frustrated because it will only make matters worse.
Bring on night number two. No matter what happens tonight, I am so happy that you are finally here, all 6 lbs 4 oz and 19 inches of you. Welcome to the world Finn! Being your dad is the greatest thing to ever happen to me. I am new to this too buddy. We will figure it out.
To my wife, you keep being an amazing mother. Watching you cuddle him and feed is better than I could have ever imagined. You are an incredible person. I couldn’t have picked a better mother for him.
Love you guys!