As I type this, I am struggling to put into words what has been happening the last four months. How do the fastest four months of watching Finn grow seem so slow? It feels like we have had him for an eternity, but it hasn’t even been half a year.

Instead of talking about the entirety of the four months, I will just focus on the past month with Finn. January 12th makes four months with my little dude. We have definitely had our bumps in the road.

Last column I wrote about Finn, I talked about the anger that would build inside of me because we are on his clock. He is playing to the beat of his own drum. That is tough for me.

Just like him figuring out life is a work in progress, so is figuring out fatherhood which I wrote more about in a previous column.

I am beginning to manage my anger better. As each day passes, I seem to be getting more adjusted to this life. I find myself growing more patience with him as cliche as it sounds. But, it is true. I still have my moments where I am not proud of the thoughts in my head or how I feel when he isn’t cooperating with something. But from what I hear, that is parenthood in a nutshell for most of us.

This past month, part of my turn around and patience has come at the hands of him being under the weather. He came down with Croupe, which fucking sucked, period. We were finally getting into a routine and he was become a generally happy baby. Then he gets sick. I felt so bad for him because I just kept thinking, why can’t it be me? It’s hard enough for him. Why does he have to deal with illness too?

It wasn’t just croupe. He developed a double ear infection which has been causing him to sleep poorly at night. Keep in mind, this kid was finally sleeping 8+ hours per night. That all went to shit. He was miserable at night and I am walking around like a damn zombie. I also have been getting sick quite often this last month. One particular night, I took NyQuil and I was on dad duty that night. I woke up an hour after crashing to him crying. He wanted to eat so I stumbled out of the bedroom and ran into the damn door. That didn’t feel too good. I put his bottle in the warmer and headed for our guest bathroom. I ran into that door as well. Then, coming out of the bathroom, I almost fell over onto the Christmas Tree because I was literally falling asleep while walking. Needless to say, that was a fun night.

That has been the main struggle for month four, but enough about that. I like balance in writing so now it is time for the positive.

My buddy had his first Christmas where he was presented with plenty of new toys, most of which talk to him. There is truly nothing like watching your developing baby see the world through his lens. When we put these toys in front of him, he is mesmerized by the singing and the colors and it is truly awesome. You can just see the curiosity in his eyes and the pure joy coming from his heart.

He loves his big dog that teaches him the colors and sings. Is it bad that I find myself singing this shit while I work? Is that normal? So forgive me if you see the creepy mustache guy singing the words…

“Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue and Purple, these are the colors…of the rainbow.”

Another joy of mine is him being a chip off the old block. It is no secret that I enjoy trolling people. The other day I was putting him to sleep and he had the cutest look on his face. I thought he was beyond passed out. I walked over to Mallisa to show her his face. He had his lip curled, something he normally does, but for some reason it just looked extra cute that day.

I go to show Mallisa and as I was walking, I look down and this little shit is wide eyed and smiling at me when he knows he should be sleeping. I couldn’t even be mad because I am thinking, this is what payback looks like…asshole.

For the record, that damn smile is amazing.

Another hilarious moment this month was literally a few days ago. I go to work later in the mornings than most people. I leave my house about 8:30am. This means I get to sleep in sometimes. Well sometimes when Finn gets up sooner than he is supposed to, I just put him in bed with me if he isn’t fussy and he will lay next to me with a toy and just hang out and kick away.

On this particular morning, I wanted to get about 10 more minutes of sleep so I did just that. When I wake up, I look over at him and he seems me pick my head up. All I did was tell him hi, the biggest smile across his face melted my heart.

We are about to get our morning started so I began unzipping his swaddle to get him out of there. In doing so, I picked him up and noticed a huge yellow/brown stain on his back. I pick up the swaddle to make sure it wasn’t on the bed. Luckily, it wasn’t. I turn him around and sure enough, there it is. My first poop explosion in the morning.

I wrote about this being one of the things I was actually excited for in a blog before Finn was here. As soon as I saw it, I just started laughing. This kid is laying in shit and he’s fine by it. In my head, I have already constructed the idea that he knows I have to clean it.

I take him in the bedroom and throw a towel down on the floor and begin to undress, luckily it wasn’t as bad as the stain made it seem. But he’s just rolling around laughing and not cooperating. Again, what a little asshole! I got him cleaned up and dressed, but I loved every minute of it. That is a moment with him that I will remember.

Overall, month four has been mostly a nightmare just because my poor dude has been sick and still is battling one ear infection. I just want him to get better, but at least he has been happier lately. We have a curious, growing boy on our hands so this is only the beginning.

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