Unapologetically Me

Right or wrong: Kissing your children on the lips

New England Quarterback Tom Brady’s week should be focused on the Super Bowl and because he is a consumate professional, his probably is. However, other people have different agendas they are trying to push.

Those agendas are revolving around his children. Earlier this week, he had a radio show host in Boston call his daughter a “pissant” during an interview. The latest dig at him and his children came when he released a new video, as part of his vlog, of him and his 11-year-old son kissing on the lips. Needless to say, it hasn’t been the best week for Brady.

People are throwing stones his way because they feel 11 is too old of an age for a son to be kissing his dad on the mouth.

I am a new parent. My son is approaching five months, but I can promise you I am already dreading the day I am no longer cool to him. I am enjoying every smile and every snuggle while I can because one day that will be gone. He will reach a certain age and think I am probably the dumbest son of a bitch on the planet. He will likely be embarrassed to be seen with me at some point.

When I saw that video, I thought good for him. That kid obviously thinks the world of his dad. Is it a little weird to me for him to be kissing his dad on the lips being 11? I would be lying if I said it wasn’t, but to each their own.

For the record, I kiss my five month old on the lips. I constantly find myself kissing his head and cheeks. Occasionally, I give him the peck on the lips. It soothes him and it makes him feel content and happy. Ultimately, that is what you want for your children…to be happy. I know five months is different than 11 years. But, it’s not my place to tell him how to raise his children.

I just don’t understand the outrage over it. I don’t see any harm in that situation. All I see is love reciprocated from father to son.

I wrote a column in September about absentee fathers being a huge problem in our society, but we expect athletes to be role models. I beckon to bring that column up again because it just baffles how much society outrages over stupid shit like this, but we aren’t as up in arms about the fact that 24 million children are living without a father figure.

The psychology behind parents kissing their children on the lips is conflicting. Upon doing some quick research on the subject, there have been multiple psychologist speak about the benefits of it and likewise there have been psychologist say it is detrimental to mental health. However, I was not able to find any psychological studies…surprise. Just a bunch of psychologist throwing their PHDs around making claims on the subject.

From my own personal experience, would I kiss my dad on the lips today? No. Would I expect Finn to kiss me on the lips at 11? No. Do I still kiss both my parents on the cheek when I see them? Absolutely. It is not that fake ass side kiss that you do with your fake ass friends. It is a real display of affection for two people I deeply care about.

I think the claim that it can cause sexual confusion sounds like some homophobic bullshit to me. People have claimed it can cause confusion on what is appropriate with physical affection, also sounds like some bullshit.

My parents used to give me back massages, something commonly associated with sex. I have also had massages from professional massage therapists. Big news for you…(forgive me for being frank) but I didn’t pop a boner from that.

I was also breastfed as a child until I was two and a half which is considered to be somewhat unordinary. I don’t have any confusion about whether or not it is wrong to run up to random people and bite their boobs. Pretty sure I have never tried that.

My mom used to smack me on the ass as a form of affection when we would walk passed each other in the house. It was totally harmless. It was annoying but harmless. I don’t run up to random girls smacking them on the ass as a result of it.

I am no expert, but I believe the bottom line to any of these issues is communication. Talk to your kids about different displays of affection and what they mean.

I have seen brothers and sisters cuddle or put their arms around each other as a way to show non-sexual affection to display their love. It doesn’t mean those siblings are banging on the bathroom floor when mom and dad aren’t home.

Brady’s son walked up to his dad and kissed him in the video. There was nothing forced. There was nothing weird in my opinion. It isn’t something I would do, but I am not here to judge other parents and how they express their love for their children. As I said, his son obviously thinks the world of him. That is more than I can say for a lot of deadbeats out there.

Is it right? Is it wrong? I think it depends on who you’re talking to. Honestly, I don’t give a shit.






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