Unless you missed it, LeBron James signed with the Los Angeles Lakers for 4 years and $154 million. I am not here to talk about LeBron. Love him or hate him, he makes the Lakers a favorite alongside the Warriors out west.

Unless a trade happens, that means Lonzo Ball and the rest of the miserable Ball family have a chance at the spotlight. That is a world I don’t want to live in…at all.

The entire Ball family is as annoying as they come and that is mainly because LaVar Ball is a piece of shit. I understand being on your son’s side and pumping him up. He has made a point to go after other athletes and even those athlete’s small children. What?! So no, I don’t want to see this punchline of a dad get near a title. I would much prefer to see him get mauled by a pride of lions, but you can’t always get what you want.

Furthermore, Lonzo is the most mild of the Ball family in my opinion and would be tolerable if not for his douchebag dad and fuckboy of a brother Lamelo. However, all bets are off when it comes to this family.

Let’s start with Lonzo. This dude’s jumpshot is uglier than his brother LaMelo (I will get to that shortly). That shot is more broken than the McDonald’s ice cream machine. Him winning a title means he becomes cast as the savior of LA because we all know this family is a bunch of weasels. LaVar will say it until people actually start believing it.

LiAngelo withdraws from UCLA after being suspended for shoplifting. His dad is the main catalyst for that decision. Why would we want any success for a family that clearly has a lack of accountability and self awareness? No one wants to see that type of douchebaggery win. Do better.

LaMelo…oh dear lord. The dude is a clown. No really, the dude looks like a clown. Probably the most arrogant of the 3 brothers. When you are taking 50 shots per game, you know you have an ego. Plus just take one look at the kid. Poor dude never had a chance. He looks like ET and Buckwheat had sex with Cardi B while under the influence of LSD.

As for LaVar…drown. Or catch Ebola…whatever comes first.

Please Lakers, do the world a favor and trade anyone named Ball right now before it’s too late. The last thing the world needs is more fuel to LaVar’s fire.

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