Hotard Huddle

Happy 4th of July everyone! I hope you all enjoy a day filled with BBQs, friends, family, Joey Chestnut and celebrating the independence of the United States of America.

Being the 4th of July, I decided to do a post ranking my favorite fictional TV/Movie politicians. Here we go…

Honorable Mention- Will McAvoy – The Newsroom
Portrayed by: Jeff Daniel
Best Quote: “And with a straight face, you’re gonna tell students that America’s so star-spangled awesome, that we’re the only ones in the world who have freedom? Canada has freedom, Japan has freedom, the UK, France, Italy, Germany, Spain, Australia, Belgium has freedom. So 207 sovereign states in the world, like 180 of them have freedom. And yeah, you, sorority girl. Just in case you accidentally wander into a voting booth one day, there’s some things you should know, and one of them is, there’s absolutely no evidence to support the statement that we’re the greatest country in the world. We’re 7th in literacy, 27th in math, 22nd in science, 49th in life expectancy, 178th in infant mortality, 3rd in median household income, number 4 in labor force, and number 4 in exports. We lead the world in only 3 categories: number of incarcerated citizens per capita, number of adults who believe angels are real, and defense spending, where we spend more than the next 26 countries combined. 25 of whom are allies. Now, none of this is the fault of a 20 year old college student. But you, nonetheless, are without a doubt a member of the worst, period, generation, period, ever, period, so when you ask, ‘What makes us the greatest country in the world?’ I dunno know what the fuck you’re talking about! Yosemite? It sure used to be. We stood up for what was right. We fought for moral reasons, we passed laws, struck down laws for moral reasons, we waged wars on poverty, not poor people. We sacrificed, we cared about our neighbors. We put our money where our mouths were, and we never beat our chest. We built great big things, made ungodly technological advances, explored the universe, cured diseases, and we cultivated the world’s greatest artists and the world’s greatest economy. We reached for the stars, acted like men. We aspired to intelligence, we didn’t belittle it, it didn’t make us feel inferior. We didn’t identify ourselves by who we voted for in our last election, and we didn’t  we didn’t scare so easy…Huh. We were able to be all these things, and to do all these things, because we were informed. By great men, men who were revered. First step in solving any problem is recognizing there is one. America is not the greatest country in the world anymore.” 

Technically, he isn’t a politician but he was too damn good of a character to leave off. He embodies what journalism should be.

10. Secretary Cleary – Wedding Crashers
Portrayed by: Christopher Walken
Best Quote: “The guy wants to run for President. He thinks Moby Dick is a venereal disease.”

He gets the nod in the top 10 for no other reason at all than he is played by Christopher effing Walken.

9. Tywin Lannister – Game of Thrones
Portrayed by: Charles Dance
Best Quote: “The lion doesn’t concern himself with the opinions of the sheep.”

Tywin is a total heel, but he is by far one of the best at the Game of Thrones. He covered his ass in every way imaginable. His demise came at the hands of taking a crap at the wrong time not thinking Tyrion would be broken free and kill him.

8. Andrew Shepherd – The American President
Portrayed by: Michael Douglas
Best Quote: “America isn’t easy. America is advanced citizenship. You’ve gotta want it bad, cause it’s gonna put up a fight. It’s gonna say ‘You want free speech? Let’s see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, and who’s standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours.’ You want to claim this land as the land of the free? Then the symbol of your country cannot just be a flag. The symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Now show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then you can stand up and sing about the land of the free.”

Great movie and great actor. Although The American President is more about the pursuit of a love interest, there is some heavy politicking involved. The quote above is an all-timer. If that isn’t relevant in 2019, I don’t know what the hell is.

7. Ron Swanson – Parks and Recreation
Portrayed by: Nick Offerman
Best Quote: “History began on July 4th, 1776. Everything before that was a mistake.”

Ron Swanson is a damn American hero. That is all you need to know.

6. Olivia Pope – Scandal
Portrayed by: Kerry Washington
Best Quote: “My white hat is bigger than your white hat.”

Olivia Pope is one bad, bad woman. You want someone who can handle your problems and make them disappear? you call OPA.

5. Fitzgerald Grant – Scandal
Portrayed by: Tony Goldwyn
Best Quote: “I’ve never felt more ready. Weakness is our strength.”

He is a pretty boy. He knows how to win the game of politics and he tried to do it as justly as possible. Take away his affair with Olivia, he has a pretty clean record.

4. Claire Underwood – House of Cards
Portrayed by: Robin Wright
Best Quote: I’ve done what I had to do. Now you do what you have to do. Seduce him. Give him your heart. Cut it out and put it in his fucking hands. 

Behind every strong man, there is a strong woman. Claire may be more ruthless than her husband Frank. It is certainly up for debate. Just read that quote above. Good lord.

3. Thomas J. Whitmore – Independence Day
Portrayed by: Bill Pullman
Best Quote: “Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. “Mankind.” That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can’t be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it’s fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom… Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution… but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight!  We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!”

His rally cry when facing a power extra terrestrial threat alone gets him in the top 3. That speech gives me goosebumps every single time. Then on top of that, he helped lead the charge in defeating them.

2. Frank Underwood – House of Cards
Portrayed by: Kevin Spacey
Best Quote: “If you don’t like how the table is set, turn over the table.”

Frank plays chess when it comes to getting shit done. He is ruthless. He is a backstabber. He treats people as pawns. He is a total shit bag. But someone with no emotion is someone with power.

1. Rowan Pope – Scandal
Portrayed by: Joe Morton
Best Quote: “Olivia, come hell or high water and you’re getting on that plane. To be clear, I am the hell and the high water.” 

Papa Pope gets number one because you can’t take command. He is the one true defender of the republic.