Week 10 Power Rankings – Every NFL Team As a Game of Thrones Character

I cannot believe we are almost at week 10. The NFL season continues to roll on and I keep wondering how we got here so quickly. We saw some pretty wild things happen this week. Miami notches their first victory! WHAT! Dallas time expiring pick six caused someone in my fantasy league to lose. WHAT! Green Bay put up an absolute dud. WHAT! Patriots get stuffed by Ravens. WHAT! That being said, here are the Power Rankings heading into week 10.

32. New York Jets
Last Week: 29
Record- 1-7

Edmure Tully – LOL. Why are you even here? At least the Dolphins know their purpose.

31. Miami Dolphins
Last Week: 32
Record- 1-7

Hodor – They seem like they don’t know what they’re doing, but they know exactly what they’re doing. They’re playing to be good in a few years just like Hodor knew he had one job in life, hold the fucking door.

30. Washington Redskins
Last Week: 31
Record- 1-8

Septa Mordane – Shame.

29. Cincinnati Bengals
Last Week: 30
Record- 0-8

Samwell Tarly – Bless your hearts.

28. Atlanta Falcons
Last Week: 28
Record- 1-7

Ned Stark – I thought they would be a prime time player in 2019. Their head got cut off quicker than I could even process what the hell I was watching.

27. Denver Broncos
Last Week: 27
Record- 3-6

Jaqen H’ghar – A man has no name. The Denver Broncos have no quarterback.

26. Cleveland Browns
Last Week: 23
Record- 2-6

Margaery Tyrell – It is truly upsetting to watch them unfold this way just like when poor Marg got blown up in the Sept. It is what it is. I’ll still love you no matter what Baker.

25. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Last Week: 22
Record- 2-6

Ramsay Bolton – He is a piece of shit. So is Jameis. (We got 7 more weeks of shit on Jameis)

24. Arizona Cardinals
Last Week: 21
Record- 3-5-1

Cersei Lannister – When the going get tough, they’re getting buried.

23. New York Giants
Last Week: 26
Record- 2-7

Theon Greyjoy – Give them time and they may surprise you in a year or two. Daniel Jones actually looks like a decent QB. One you can certainly win around.

22. Pittsburgh Steelers
Last Week: 25
Record- 4-4

Davos Seaworth – Maybe, just maybe we are underestimating them.

21. Los Angeles Chargers
Last Week: 24
Record- 4-5

Brienne of Tarth – Will they ascend in the AFC? Most people will probably say no including myself, but they have the talent.

20. Chicago Bears
Last Week: 17
Record- 3-5

Stannis Baratheon – Matt Nagy is basically Melissandre and completely misguiding this team. They are better than 3-5 even with Trubisky. That defense and offensive backfield is too good to be this bad.

19. Tennessee Titans
Last Week: 19
Record- 4-4

Bran Stark – Just sitting around blending in.

18. Jacksonville Jaguars
Last Week: 16
Record- 4-5

Khal Drogo – The ladies love them some Jason Momoa! Who am I kidding? Men do too. Just like we all love Gardner Minshew. Unfortunately, both runs have come to an end quickly. BOOOOOO!

17. Buffalo Bills
Last Week: 15
Record- 6-2

Tyrion Lannister – No matter how much they win, they likely won’t get the respect they deserve.

16. Detroit Lions
Last Week: 13
Record- 3-4-1

Lyanna Mormont – A for effort. They’re not a bad team at all. A lot of close losses this year. They just don’t have the fire power to withstand the brute strength of the NFC. They are certainly fighters and fierce.

15. Carolina Panthers
Last Week: 20
Record- 5-3

Robb Stark – I wish it wasn’t the end for Cam Newton. Even as a Saints fan, I love watching him play. It is sad to see what is unfolding with his career. You never want to see guys get derailed because of injuries. For me, it is the NFL version of the Red Wedding right now.

14. Oakland Raiders
Last Week: 18
Record- 4-4

Sansa Stark – Remember when everyone was ready to write off Jon Gruden last year. They’re still very much in play here.

13. Indianapolis Colts
Last Week: 10
Record- 5-3

Robert Baratheon – He is a bit of a slob much like the Colts. But, they’re both effective at getting the job done. There is nothing pretty or glamorous about the Colts. They move the line well, run the ball effectively and play sound defense.

12. Philadelphia Eagles
Last Week: 14
Record- 5-4

Petyr “Littlefinger” Baelish – They’re on a little bit of streak and I think most people are underestimating them. In the end, they may find a way to take the wide open NFC East. Or they may implode. Let’s wait to find out.

11. Dallas Cowboys
Last Week: 12
Record- 5-3

Joffrey Baratheon – It is great for the sport when they are relevant because of the ratings just like Joffrey was an amazing villain and good for the show. But they are not as good or untouchable as their fan base thinks. If you have to constantly remind us that you’re that good, you’re not that good. It will ultimately lead to failure, resentment and total disappointment.

10. Minnesota Vikings
Last Week: 5
Record- 6-3

Tormund Giantsbane – It remains to be seen if they will be a prime time player, but I sure do love watching them. Plus Tormund looks like a damn viking.

9. Houston Texans
Last Week: 11
Record- 6-3

The Hound – When that team gets rolling, look out. They come in guns fucking blazing. They will absolutely put a hurting on you if they need to.

8. Los Angeles Rams
Last Week: 8
Record- 5-3

Jon Snow – For all intents and purposes, they have all the weapons to be lethal. They have Aaron Donald who may be the best player in the league as far as non QBs go. They have a great coach in Sean McVay. On offense, they have Todd Gurley, Cooper Kupp, Brandin Cooks, Robert Woods and Jared Goff. There is more than meets the eye right now. Something feels off and they ultimately have fallen short many times this season.

7. Kansas City Chiefs
Last Week: 9
Record- 6-3

Arya Stark – She can be quick so can the KC offense. If you catch yourself slipping, you’ll be buried quickly. Also Arya is a total bad ass, so is Patty Mahomes.

6. Green Bay Packers
Last Week: 4
Record- 7-2

Jorah Mormont – They have a savvy vet with QB Aaron Rodgers. Sure, they just put up a dud much like Jorah had some questionable decisions. In the end, I trust they will be one of the last remaining teams standing.

5. Seattle Seahawks
Last Week: 6
Record- 7-2

Tywin Lannister – They just win football games. They do so because they are always one of the most situationally sound teams in the league thanks to Russell Wilson.

4. Baltimore Ravens
Last Week: 7
Record- 7-2

BronnHe doesn’t fight with honor. Neither do the Ravens. They use their damn QB to run the ball constantly. This ain’t Madden bro! But hey, it’s effective. As Bronn said when Lady Arryn told him he didn’t fight with honor…”No, but he did,” as the soldier falls through the moon door.

3. New England Patriots
Last Week: 2
Record- 8-1

Night King – They’ve been great for two decades just like the army of the dead has obliterated everything for thousands of years. You enter beyond the wall and good luck getting in their way.

2. San Francisco 49ers
Last Week: 3
Record- 8-0

Danaerys Targaryen – They are the hot team in the league that everyone seems to love. Honestly, what is not to love?

1. New Orleans Saints
Last Week: 1
Record- 7-1

Jaime Lannister – They had their hand cut off (injury to Brees), but they managed to survive and they are one of the most crafty and well balanced teams in the league thanks to experience and moxie. That’s Jaime Fookin Lannister. The KINGSLAYER!

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