LSU QB Joe Burrow Puts His Balls on the Table in Tuscaloosa

I want to start this column by addressing something. I fucking hate LSU with a passion. I don’t cheer for any school that isn’t my alma matter, Nicholls State University. I am proud as hell to wear that school on my chest. That is where I earned my degree and that is where my loyalty will forever reside. I am a Colonel through and through.

That being said, I am a sports fan. That is no secret. I have no problem being a front runner. I have no problem calling a spade a spade. I have no problem pissing off fans with reality and reasoning.

Despite being a sports fan and a Nicholls die hard, I hate college sports if I am being totally honest. I hate the ranking system. I hate the level of talent. I hate the discrepancy of resources from team to team, which is why I laugh when lower level teams upset the big dogs. I also laugh when the big dogs escape those games with wins and act proud. I sure would fucking hope you win. Your budget and recruiting is usually light years ahead.

On a fundamental level, I don’t like college sports which is a major reason why I don’t pay much attention. I haven’t in several years. I can count on one hand the number of college football or basketball games that I have sat down and watched in the last 6 years.

But every once in a while, there are certain athletes or talent who draw my eyes to the sport. Baker Mayfield was one of them in recent memory. One of the games I did watch was Georgia and Oklahoma in the playoff. Although I haven’t watched a single game this year not named Nicholls, I have been paying close attention to the loathed LSU Tigers. Why? One guy and one guy only, Joe freaking Burrow.

I love that dudes confidence, swagger and play style. I have been checking out his highlights and following to see how he does each week.

Going back to why I hate college sports, Nick Saban is the cesspool of that. I wrote a column about my hatred for him a few years back. It is not because he is the best. Not even a little bit. If I hated him because he is the best, then explain why I love Bill Belichick and Tom Brady. Explain why I love watching Steph Curry and the Warriors.

It is not because he is good, it’s because for someone who preaches excellence, he finds ways to be excellent, but only when the odds are in his favor. I will never knock a program for playing a “weak” conference schedule. That is beyond a team’s control. I will knock them based on non-conference schedule. Every year, Saban has the Oxnard Truck Driving School on his schedule twice. When he does face bigger opponents, it is on neutral sites AND those teams usually travel slightly further for the “neutral” site. That bothers me. When you are ranked in the top 3 every preseason, one conference loss in the SEC will never really hurt Saban. So yeah, fuck Saban. I love watching him lose.

Getting back to Burrow, I loved the dismantling of Alabama in Tuscaloosa because of my affection for him and hatred for Saban. If there is one week I get behind LSU, no matter the season, it is Bama week. I wanted it a little more this year because of Burrow.

Not only did Burrow win, Bama had absolutely no answer for him. For once, Saban couldn’t outcoach someone because he couldn’t handle the talent on the other side of him. Burrow finished the game throwing 31/39 for 393 yards and 3 TDs as well as 64 yards on the ground. Get bent Saban.

Although it was a one score game on paper, this game wasn’t that close. The LSU offense controlled that entire game and the defense did enough in the first half to completely overwhelm the Crimson Tide.

Unless Burrow and LSU fall off a cliff, he is well on the way to hoisting the coveted Hesiman Trophy becoming the second Tiger to do so since Billy Cannon in 1959.

Eat shit Saban. Joe Big Balls Burrow just became your dad.

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