Thank you to everyone who commented some topics for me to write about. The first one I selected was from my buddy Bougie. He suggested coming up with a list of fictional characters to fill out a presidential cabinet. They can come from nearly anywhere, as long as they are fictional. So here we go.
Chief of Staff –
Rowan Pope (Scandal)
If someone is wheelin and dealin behind the scenes, the obvious choice is command. Papa Pope headed the most powerful operation in the US known as B6-13. We all know…YOU CAN’T TAKE COMMAND, SON!
Secretary of Homeland Security –
Jack Ryan (Jack Ryan)
If someone is going to protect us from terrorists, it has to be Jack Ryan. He is a real go-getter who doesn’t stop until the truth is found.
Secretary of Veteran Affairs –
Red Forman (That 70s Show)
Red Forman is a goddamn national treasure. If someone is going to defend our veterans, it has to be Red. After all, his time in the Navy taught him that if the government wants to shove a device in your ass, you say thank you and God Bless America.
Secretary of Education –
George Feeny (Boy Meets World)
Secretary of Energy –
Lucius Fox (Batman)
Fox was the right hand man of Batman for all of his equipment and we saw how successful he was at fighting off bad guys. Also, it is Morgan fucking Freeman.
Secretary of Transportation –
Ranjit (How I Met Your Mother)
If there is someone who knows public transportation, it’s this guy.
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development –
Tim Taylor (Home Improvement)
What could possibly go wrong?
Surgeon General –
Dr. Drake Ramoray (Joey Tribbiani – Friends)
He’s a TV doctor within a TV show, counts for something.
Secretary of Labor –
Phil Banks (Fresh Prince)
As a judge and lawyer, Uncle Phil certainly knows the law. He is an honest and hard working man. You can fully expect him to take his duties and responsibilities to protect workers seriously.
Secretary of Commerce –
Tony Stark (Marvel)
If someone knows money, it is most certainly Tony Stark. Plus, wouldn’t it be nice to have a superhero in your cabinet? Answer, yes.
Secretary of Agriculture –
Dwight Schrute (The Office)
He’s a damn beet farmer for goodness sake.
Secretary of the Interior –
Phoebe Bufay (Friends)
She is a champion for animal rights and the environment. Wouldn’t she be the perfect fit? As long as she isn’t pregnant I guess.
Attorney General –
Vincent Gambini (My Cousin Vinny)
Without having any experience in criminal law, Vinny freaking Gambini took on the case of his cousin and won under the name Jerry Callo.
Secretary of Defense –
Harry Potter (Harry Potter)
He is the CHOSEN ONE! He’s a damn wizard and he defeated he who must not be named.
Secretary of Treasury –
Mr. Monopoly (Board Game)
He was certainly good at taking money from me as a child. I have heard more than one story of ways he handled friends of mine.
Secretary of State –
Kevin MacArthur (The League)
He was such a fair commissioner in fantasy football that is drove him to the point of insanity. I feel your pain, Kevin.
Vice President –
Olivia Pope (Scandal)
The walking, talking, breathing white hat who will cut you off at the knees if you cross her. Perfect for the VP and eventual run at presidency.
Ron Swanson (Parks and Recs)
Honest. Fair. Protects everyone at all costs.