29 Years Around the Sun – Balding, Building and Ballin (not really) at 29

First and foremost, I would like to say how thankful I am for another year on this planet. Thank you for the birthday wishes and all that jazz.

Although, 2020 is pretty rough thus far. Some may blame me for that as you’ll see in this post.

I did a post last year for my birthday called 28 Things My Friends Say About Me. I enjoyed it because it was cool to let readers in on who I am from a perspective other than my own. I wanted to follow a similar path and make a game out of it each year.

I proceeded to text many friends and family that I talk to anywhere from a once every few months to a daily basis. In the title, you may notice I put the word ballin. That doesn’t mean I am surrounded by money. However, I am surrounded by many wonderful people I love to share my life with. That is not to say I am the most like-able person on the planet, far from it. I let people in and thus they let me in and friendships form. I have a zest for human connection and shared interests.

This post is special because not only is it my annual birthday post. Most importantly, this marks my 502nd post for Hotard Huddle. It was supposed to be my 500th, but shit happened and I had to talk about it. I am fucking proud beyond belief of this blog I built. Most importantly, this blog has allowed me to connect with so many people. That is glorious.

I had my friends and family choose from any of the 5 questions below (more than one if they would like) and answer accordingly.

  • 1 – Would you consider me arrogant or confident? Why?
  • 2 – If I was a TV/Movie Character, who is it and why?
  • 3 – What profession should I be in? Why?
  • 4 – If you were asked to tell one story about me, which would it be?
  • 5 – How would you describe me as an athlete?

Alex W

  • Would you consider me arrogant or confident? Why?

I’d have to say confident. Arrogance is a bad thing. Cocky and confident suites you better. When you talk about sports, football in particular, you are confident in your research and back it up with facts and stats. When you have an opinion, you are sticking to it. Not afraid to argue it. Not afraid to tell people they are wrong. I compare it to Richard Sherman (I know you love that one). I fucking love it.

Andrew

  • Would you consider me arrogant or confident? Why?

Depends on who you are talking to, you can be both. You tend to take a tone to those you respect less intellectually. Circumstances have caused us to not hang out as much as before and it seems you have softened this approach. When drinking, you’re a straight asshole, but hey, look who’s talking.

  • If I was a TV/Movie Character, who is it and why?

Danny DeVito for height and hair loss, obviously.

  • What profession should I be in? Why?

For the love of God not sports…SaInTs NeEd To tRaDe DrEw BrEeS…. “Just terrible” – Charles Barkley

But you’ve seemed to find a nice space in life columns. I find your journalism shines brightest when talking about your family.

  • If you were asked to tell one story about me, which would it be?

Depends on who’s asking…Nashville was probably the best trip we’ve been on though.

  • How would you describe me as an athlete?

lol, N/A

Ashley

  • Would you consider me arrogant or confident? Why?

CONFIDENT = competent from the inside out. You use your talents to genuinely try to be of use, sway opinions, challenge thoughts, or to succeed at the task at hand.

  • What profession should I be in? Why?

Lawyer. Because you could convince anyone the sky is red.

Bill

  • Would you consider me arrogant or confident? Why?

Confident. As they say, it’s not bragging if it’s true.

Brandon H

  • Would you consider me arrogant or confident? Why?

Michael Hotard is neither arrogant nor confident. I’d say he’s courageous. He’s both average and outstanding. He can be “one of the guys.” But, he is not afraid to be “that guy.” Michael gets lost in the crowd, yet he’s a personality that I enjoy listening to.

  • If I was a TV/Movie Character, who is it and why?

My brain goes right to Stu Macher played by Matthew Lillard in Scream. I like him, but he’s slightly annoying and might be a serial killer.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA – See top 10 horror movies for why that is funny to me.

  • What profession should I be in? Why?

Sales. He could probably sell anything.

  • If you were asked to tell one story about me, which would it be?

It’s the onset of Covid America. I’m fielding calls and emails about people cancelling their memberships as we prepare to close. Yet Michael was the first to ask if he could continue paying so that the employees of the gym could keep getting a paycheck.

  • How would you describe me as an athlete?

I’ve never played against him. But as far as looks go, I’d describe him as…beatable.

Budde

  • If you were asked to tell one story about me, which would it be?

If I were asked to tell one story, it would be the time we tried a cigarette when we were younger. It was the first and last time.

Casey

  • If I was a TV/Movie Character, who is it and why?

I would definitely describe you as Ed Monix in Semi-Pro. Not the best athlete out there, but understand the game, has a nagging knee injury, player coach, would most likely win an NBA title as a bench warmer and wear the ring around your neck. But hey, I would trade my washing machine right now to have you on my squad.

Charles

  • Would you consider me arrogant or confident? Why?

I think you’re a confident person in what you believe in. Whether that is your personal views or sports views or anything really. I don’t think you’re arrogant. I associate arrogance with the inability to see someone else’s viewpoint. So although you may argue from one point, if someone says “well Mike, I think it’s this way and here’s why,” you will say “alright that’s fair and I can get behind that.” BUT, you are a dick, but you are our dick and we love you for it.

Christen

  • Would you consider me arrogant or confident? Why?

I would consider you confidently arrogant because when you have an opinion (which you normally do), you stand by it and make it known. (Not a bad thing)

  • If I was a TV/Movie Character, who is it and why?

I don’t know why but Jonah Hill’s character in Superbad is the first that comes to mind. Obviously not the physical aspect because you look nothing alike.

  • What profession should I be in? Why?

I think where you are now is perfect for you, but otherwise, a lawyer because you love a good debate.

  • If you were asked to tell one story about me, which would it be?

Most of my stories are us in a drunken state and we’re old now so I can’t remember a lot of specifics. Instead, I’ll talk about the first time I met you in high school. You sat behind me in science class and you were super awkward and shy (clearly you’ve grown a LOT) and from what I remember for some reason, you and the teacher didn’t get along.

Christian

  • Would you consider me arrogant or confident? Why?

Confident in most parts of life. You know you’re a good friend and better relative. However, your confidence is borderline arrogance when it comes to sports knowledge. I don’t say that in a bad way. You just know wtf you’re talking about. Even if your prediction is wrong, you’ve known more about sports than anyone I’ve ever known. I think you’ve earned your right to stand by opinions the way you do.

  • If you were asked to tell one story about me, which would it be?

I would tell a select few people about the times at TW’s house or parties at your place. You are always down to bring a good time to any room you enter. I think you really thrive at bringing people together while catering to the different values of life.

Chelsea

  • Would you consider me arrogant or confident? Why?

Confident. Confident in your opinions and stance on a subject. However, I feel those that don’t know you will say you’re arrogant. We know how easily those can be misconstrued. So it takes knowing someone to be able to make that decision.

  • If you were asked to tell one story about me, which would it be?

My fondest memory of you is when you dressed up as a beer keg at a high school football game and said you were crossing over to the other side of the stadium…don’t remember the end result of this stunt. But, I remember thinking you were an idiot.

  • How would you describe me as an athlete?

Accountable. I have seen you throw an airball and laugh at yourself and pat on your chest to accept the bad play. I’ve also seen you dominate a shot and hustle over to the other side of the court without needing admiration. Overall, you show up and own your plays – an accountable team player.

Dad

  • Would you consider me arrogant or confident? Why?

I would say confident and confrontational, not arrogant. Confident because you research before providing feedback on topics. Confrontational because you don’t know when to back off. People have opinions and at times you need to leave it at that rather than argue.

  • What profession should I be in? Why?

Politics because you do your research unlike politicians today.

  • If you were asked to tell one story about me, which would it be?

Last year of baseball when we came in second place, you left the field and threw the medal in the trash. You said there is no second place. The game is about winning.

  • How would you describe me as an athlete?

Confident and unwavering. You always played with confidence and passion.

Danny F

  • Would you consider me arrogant or confident? Why?

Confident. You always have facts. You always prove your theory on the subject you’re talking about. You research before you act or speak. It’s you. You are a factual and realistic person. You learn, study and observe before opening your mouth no matter what your first impression is. You’re confident of your decision on the given situation.

  • If I was a TV/Movie Character, who is it and why?

Dr. Strange. You realize the present, but look towards and strive for a brighter future.

  • What profession should I be in? Why

You are exactly where you need to be. A higher power has put you there. One day, you will be heard by the world. Mr. Hotard, you speak the truth no one wants to hear, but needs to hear. You will one day be heard by the world. I will golf clap my ass off. You may not be my closest friend. But, I too am an observer. I watched you grow from college into the man you are today. I don’t believe this is it for you. There’s so much more for you.

  • If you were asked to tell one story about me, which would it be?

You and Mallisa broke up in college. I kept telling you to go hook up with different girls. We were sitting in your dorm as I tried to buck you up. You knew she was meant for you. I didn’t understand it then. But, you did and now I do. You recognized it and you two made it happen. Here you are with a second child. That is no coincidence. That is fate.

Danny H

  • Would you consider me arrogant or confident? Why?

Confident. Confident in your opinions, views, morals and values. It might get confused as arrogance at times, but it’s because you stick to your beliefs.

  • If I was a TV/Movie Character, who is it and why?

Hamilton Porter (Sandlot) – I could’ve gone several different routes here, but Ham gets the nod due to you both enjoying sports (and sports history), ability and enjoy talking shit and the capability of going for the jugular verbally. (Insert you play ball like a girl!).

  • What profession should I be in? Why?

Fact Checker. I don’t need to elaborate on that one.

  • If you were asked to tell one story about me, which would it be?

Fantasy football draft two years ago. Vomiting circa round 7 of the draft due to icing yourself 7 times due to picking Falcons/Alabama players for your team.

  • How would you describe me as an athlete?

Consistent and cerebral. You have no physical attributes that will ever jump off the page or receiver a 99 on the create a player, but you make up for it by understanding games and situations. This more often than not evens the playing field against those more athletically gifted, if not giving you the advantage.

David F

  • Would you consider me arrogant or confident? Why?

I would say you are confident, but also arrogant. I say both because your confidence is the foundation you stand on that gives you the will and courage to walk the path you want, but it also creates an arrogance that highlights one of your most controversial skills. The skill is to debate which in turn is also your best quality. You are not afraid to say what other people are thinking, but too afraid to say it.

  • What profession should I be in? Why?

The DMV. Takes no ones shit and tells them you wasted time, you are in the wrong line.

Felix

  • Would you consider me arrogant or confident? Why?

Confident because you back up anything you say with knowledge and facts.

  • If I was a TV/Movie Character, who is it and why?

Leo as Jordan Belfort in Wolf of Wall Street because of the attitude and demeanor.

  • What profession should I be in? Why?

Definitely a lawyer because you never turn down a debate.

  • If you were asked to tell one story about me, which would it be?

Any of the times we played flag together.

  • How would you describe me as an athlete?

As an athlete, I would say John Stockton. Smart, calm and sees everything going on in the game.

George

  • If I was a TV/Movie Character, who is it and why?

My character for you would be Tanner Boyle from the Bad News Bears. He’s stubborn but yet you know he is right. I love ya my dude. You were always shorter and said what was on your mind. That is always what I liked about you.

Ham

  • Would you consider me arrogant or confident? Why?

Confident mostly, but slightly arrogant as any true competitor is. You definitely talk your shit, but more often than not, you back it up. I can respect that.

  • What profession should I be in? Why?

Sports analyst / broadcaster. I think the answer should be obvious to anyone who knows you.

  • If you were asked to tell one story about me, which would it be?

The infamous knee injury game at SCB because I’m sure I’ll never live that down.

  • How would you describe me as an athlete?

A persistent and well rounded athlete who doesn’t have all the bells and whistles as others do, but still manages to get the job done. You are a true competitor and I like that.

Jared

Jared took the liberty of answering all five into once basically…

So, Michael Hotard sent me a list of questions and asked me to answer however many I’d like. In these answer, I’m going to address multiple of those questions with one story.

A couple years back, Mike asked me to join a flag football league. Mike was one of our quarterbacks, as well as every other position he was sure he could dominate. But was he confident, or was he arrogant in his abilities? In my own simple definitions, I believe arrogance to be a belief that you are better than others. I believe confidence is the belief that you have faith in yourself to get the job done. One is tearing others down while the other is uplifting yourself.

While the smack talk rained all over every game we played, I don’t believe Mike ever believed he was better than every other team. I think he was confident in his abilities to push his team and himself to do what he believed we could do. He knew we always fought just as hard as him to do the undo-able. This story isn’t about just one game, or even the entire football season for that matter. This story is about Mike’s attitude on and off the field. While Mike is strong in his beliefs (strong is an understatement), he always keeps an open mind. This mindset that Mike has makes it so that he can accept other people’s ideas and add them to his arsenal of ideas to be ready to belittle the next dumbass with a small-minded view. But if you come at Mike with the same open mind as he does, I’m sure he doesn’t bite hard enough to leave a mark, just hard enough for you strengthen your arsenal of ideas to carry on to the next dumbass. That ladies and gentlemen, is confidence.

That being said, we only won like 2 or 3 of like, 10 games I think. That is why Mike should NOT strive to take on a professional career as a quarterback.

Justin

  • What profession should I be in? Why?

Journalist/Blogger/Vlogger, which you already are. Tbh you should be one of the people on ESPN in my opinion. ESPN has people like Marty Smith, not sure his actual job title, but that guy is terrible. Would much rather see you on the screen than any of those assholes.

Kyle

  • Would you consider me arrogant or confident? Why?

Little of both. The arrogance comes from being confident.

  • If I was a TV/Movie Character, who is it and why?

Harry Doyle from Major League. You have the face for radio…like to drink and sometimes just don’t give a damn.

  • What profession should I be in? Why?

A background dancer in Swan Princess…No reason. Just think it would be hilarious AF.

  • How would you describe me as an athlete?

The old balding white guy who hangs around because he’s good at taking walks and getting on base.

Laura

  • What profession should I be in? Why?

If we pretend like sports broadcasting/journalism aren’t professions because I feel it’s too predictable of an answer, then I think you’d make a pretty great lawyer because you know all of the information about a topic, you can talk circles around anyone and arguing is one of your favorite things to do!

Mallisa

  • Would you consider me arrogant or confident? Why?

I consider you confident because you always have facts to back up your arguments. You don’t seem to think you are better than anyone else.

  • If I was a TV/Movie Character, who is it and why?

Chandler Bing! You both make a ton of sarcastic comments and joke about everything. However, you are much more confident than Chandler. Both of you have a softer side, but not overly romantic. Chandler is a good friend and you are a great friend.

Matt L

  • Would you consider me arrogant or confident? Why?

I would say it’s sort of a combination of the two. You always prepare for every argument, so you are always confident which can come across as arrogant to some people.

  • What profession should I be in? Why?

Defense attorney and it’s not even close. Just imagine, Mike, in the courtroom defending his client using quick wits, clever remarks and well researched approaches. I would pay to see that.

  • If you were asked to tell one story about me, which would it be?

After not seeing Mike for 4+ years, I flew back into town and was finally able to meet up. We grabbed some Fat Boys Pizza that he had been raving about. When we got there, it was like I had never left and we were able to jump straight into bullshitting for almost two hours. It’s hard to find friends like that.

Mike J

  • Would you consider me arrogant or confident? Why?

I think it’s a combination of both. There has to be a certain amount of arrogance among anyone that strives to be successful or someone in a leadership position. With that, you have to be confident in what you do. I think it applies to your professional life, and especially with your blogs/podcasts. You have to fire up some debate, so there is a combination of arrogance/confidence in what you do. It just has to be the right combination and I think as you have gotten older, you are finding the right mix.

  • If I was a TV/Movie Character, who is it and why?

Rudy – nonstop pursuit of a dream, even when society tells you that there is no way. And complete and total loyalty to what you believe in, your friends and your family.

  • What profession should I be in? Why?

I think you are finding your niche’ in marketing/blogging world. It’s cliche, but do what you love and find your passion. I think happiness and life experience is the most important thing, so if you are getting the most out of those then kudos to you.

  • If you were asked to tell one story about me, which would it be?

I know your favorite is shriners pick up football, but mine is just the relationship we built in college.

  • How would you describe me as an athlete?

Exactly what your tombstone will say, “here lies Hodie, delightfully average and unrefined.”

Mom

  • Would you consider me arrogant or confident? Why?

You’re arrogant and confident! You’re arrogant because you don’t care what other people feel or their convictions. However, you’re very confident in your convictions.

  • If I was a TV/Movie Character, who is it and why?

Andrew Shepard from The American President. Just watch; no explanation needed.

  • What profession should I be in? Why?

Anything dealing with politics. See answer 1 and 2.

  • If you were asked to tell one story about me, which would it be?

Dad coming to a soccer game in Lafayette and handing you off to me saying, “Take him! He’s yours. He hasn’t stopped talking since we left Destrehan 3 hours ago.”

For the record, I was 2. LMFAO

  • How would you describe me as an athlete?

You were a great athlete when your heart was in it.

Moore

  • If you were asked to tell one story about me, which would it be?

One time, Mike drafted a fantasy team, won like 4 games becoming the Sacko and 2020 happened.

Rane

  • 1 – Would you consider me arrogant or confident? Why?

Let’s say arrogantly confident? Maybe confidently arrogant? It’s definitely confidence; however, the writing style could lead to others feeling it as more of arrogance.

  • 2 – If I was a TV/Movie Character, who is it and why?

Kevin MacArthur. No explanation truly needed, but I will share these two quotes that both sound like something you would say:

“Who do you think resets the router? You think that just magically happens and everyone gets the Wi-Fi? No! Someone’s got to pull the plug out the back, wait ten seconds and then put it back in. I do that once a month.”

“I can’t live in a house where I’m not respected as a fantasy football player.”

  • 3 – What profession should I be in? Why?

You are doing it. Maybe add some additional heavy debating to the rule, I think you fit what you do well. Other profession? The next Mouth of the South Jimmy Hart.

  • 4 – If you were asked to tell one story about me, which would it be?

It would have to do with a particular type of Canadian.

  • 5 – How would you describe me as an athlete?

Not too sure as I haven’t seen it yet, but from the stories you have told me, I can say you are great at writing about it.

Taylor T

  • Would you consider me arrogant or confident? Why?

I would say confident because anyone can read your columns and say you know your shit. You back it up. Everyone should be confident. Sometimes you can be arrogant because you’re confident. I thoroughly enjoy when you school people on FB. It’s great.

Taylor W

  • How would you describe me as an athlete?

My man lulls you in with a false sense of security. You think to yourself…I’m faster than this guy and probably jump higher, this will be easy. Well as you see the end getting closer and closer, you realize by this point that you’ve already been defeated. He knew your every move and executed at a level you didn’t believe possible. To sum it up, his strategy, awareness, mental toughness, desire to win and shit talking make him a valued asset on any court or team.

  • If you were asked to tell one story about me, which would it be?

One word or song I should say, unstoppable.

Trevor

  • Would you consider me arrogant or confident? Why?

Confident. Your confidence in how you feel makes you come across as arrogant, possibly, but who cares? You’re Michael Fucking Hotard.

  • If I was a TV/Movie Character, who is it and why?

Shane Falco of The Replacements. You got heart.

  • What profession should I be in? Why?

A spokesman for hair implants, you balding mofo.

  • If you were asked to tell one story about me, which would it be?

I’ll give two. When teaching you things at the radio station, we instantly became The Rock and Sock Connection quoting famous Rock promos. Also, Super Bowl Party XLIX, you made the biggest mistake of your life going against Tom Brady when the Pats beat the Seahawks.

  • How would you describe me as an athlete?

Look up Orange Cassidy. No explanation needed.

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