Hotard Huddle

Happy Sunday everyone. I wanted to divert away from hardcore nerd sports analysis and politics for a minute. One of my favorite parts of a movie is when they capture you with a monologue.

Below I share some of my all-time favorites. Some of them are short. Some of them long. Some are witty. Some are serious. Some are funny. Some are inspiring. Some are just downright bad ass.

37. The Untouchables – I Want Him Dead

De Niro is already a scary son of a bitch. But a pissed off De Niro, bless your heart. This one is quick, simple and to the point.

36. Jaws – The Head. The Tail. The Whole Damn Thing.

Quint was a damn saint and deserved better than the fate he had. His eerie demeanor cracks me up. I always found it interesting they pulled a swerve when he dies, as it was Hooper who died in the book.

35. The Departed – I Want My Environment to Be a Product of Me

The Martin Scorcese flick wasted no time cutting to the chase about Frank Costello. Although he is not seen saying most of this on screen, it still conveys a powerful message about who he is.

34. Coach Carter – Our Deepest Fear

How many times does someone have to be asked their biggest fear before dropping a bomb like this? Timo Cruz had one of the best character arcs in one of my favorite basketball movies.

33. Wolf of Wall Street – I’m Not Fucking Leaving

Apparently Belfort is not leaving.

32. Jack – Make Your Life Spectacular

Cue the classic Robin Williams heartfelt monologue to end a movie. He was a goddamn treasure and we should always preserve him. He may have battled dementia and his life ended tragically, but it will never overshadow how spectacular he was.

31. Dead Poets Society – Carpe diem. Seize the Day.

Another classic from Williams, promise it won’t be the last you see on this list either.

30. Remember the Titans – Gettysburg

It’s 2020 and people still need to listen to this.

29. The Dark Knight – Some Men Just Want to Watch the World Burn

The speech by Alfred Pennyworth about bad men will send shivers down your spine. Some people are just anarchists.

28. The Goonies

Cheesy as all hell, but The Goonies in general is cheesy. I love every damn second of it.

27. The Shining – I’m Working

If you ever want to see someone on the brink of absolutely snapping, cue the psychotic Jack Torrance.

26. Field of Dreams – Build It, They Will Come

From the sweet sound of James Earl Jones’ amazing voice to the players falling in behind him to the romanticism of how impactful baseball was…pure gold.

25. Lean on Me – A Spirit That Will Not Die

Morgan Freeman with hot dynamite in this one talking about the system educational system designed to keep his students down.

24. Angus – What is normal?

If you’ve never seen this movie and grew up in the 90s, get the hell out of my blog. But in all seriousness, I wrote a column about finding my place in high school recently. This pretty much sums it up.

23. A Few Good Men – You Can’t Handle the Truth

Although Col. Jessup is clearly the villain for the unjust killing, he saw it as a necessary measure. Unfortunately, this paints a reality of what happens in times of war or when your job is preparing soldiers for acts of war.

22. Law Abiding Citizen – I’m a Law Abiding Citizen

Yikes. How to get put in contempt of court real quick.

21. Remember the Titans – Leave No Doubt

I love this scene for so many reasons. One, it was the turning point for Coach Yoast to get behind Coach Boone. Two, the opposing coach was a racist asshole so after his battle cry to his players, he tells Herman “run it up.” They did. Glorious in every sense of the word.

20. Independence Day – Our Independence Day

Bill Pullman rallying the world to defend the world against a far greater threat will forever live on when it comes to iconic movie monologues.

19. Scarface – Say Goodnight to the Bad Guy

I love the honesty in this speech. People love to hide behind false truths and realities. This is 100% a message I can get behind.

18. Wedding Crashers – The Perils of Dating

Vince Vaughn ranting about anything is always a good time. It probably has more to do with the fact he doesn’t seem to take a breath when he speaks. After a rant, he subtly says “great talk.”

17. Rudy – Fortune’s Truth

Your 5 feet nothing. 100 and nothing. You hung in with the best college football team in the land for two years. Sometimes we need friends to put things in perspective. Fortune did just that.

16. Braveheart – Freedom

He doesn’t shoot fireballs from his eyes or lightning bolts from his ass, but William Wallace could certainly rally the troops. FREEDOM!

15. Tommy Boy – Sales Pitch

I’d buy anything from him, period. Even if he burned up my funkos in the process.

14. Scream – How To Survive a Horror Movie

I have made it clear in other blogs that this is my favorite horror series by a mile. Scenes like this are why. The movies are so damn meta in the best way imaginable. I’ll be right back.

13. The Mighty Ducks – Confidence

The main Gordon Bombay speech featured everyone else talking saying where they were from, so he doesn’t get the nod for the list. But Coach Orion does.

12. Godfather – Make Him an Offer He Can’t Refuse

Vito Corleone, period.

11. Tombstone – Hell’s Coming With Me

While Val Kilmer stole this movie as Doc Holiday with his insane amount of one liners, let’s respect the fact that Kurt Russell as Wyatt Earp is not to be fucked with. Right after killing and attacking the Cowboys, he scares the biggest bitch of the film, Ike Clanton. He delivers this completely bad ass speech.

10. Any Given Sunday – Inch By Inch

Pacino with the dynamite as Coach Frank D’Amato.

9. Gladiator – My Name is Maximus

Sometimes bad asses don’t need many words to invoke fear, this is easily one of the most bad ass scenes in movie history.

8. Good Will Hunting – Your Move, Chief

Back to Williams. He delivers a heartfelt monologue about life experience and understanding emotion to the young genius that is Will.

7. Accepted – Education

Justin Long might be one of the most underrated actors around. Growing up, Accepted was one of my favorites because of the idea that education goes beyond the normal standards and four walls of a classroom. Couple of fun facts…you’ll notice Val from Brink is with the prep assholes…go figure. Sam Horrigan is a notorious villain (see Little Giants and Brink). Also notice behind Bartleby is a blonde headed guy known as Abernathy Darwin Dunlap (ADD) who has ADD. Same actor that plays Penguin in Gotham.

6. Patch Adams – Indifference

The fourth and final time you will see him on my list. This speech in Patch Adams is easily my favorite monologue of his.

5. The Breakfast Club – Sincerely Yours

While no one is on camera giving this one, this is one of the most iconic scenes in movie history, voiced by Anthony Michael Hall along with Judd Nelson, Molly Ringwald, Ally Sheedy and Emilio Estevez. The letter they wrote to Principal Vernon says it all. #BratPackForTheWin

4. Miracle – You Were Born For This

Maybe it is because I have had the honor of touching the ice this happened on. Maybe it is because the call by Al Michaels is the best in sports history. Maybe it is because this story is a legendary tale of David v Goliath. Kurt Russell makes the story even better as Herb Brooks when he delivered this one.

3. Billy Madison – May God Have Mercy On Your Soul

The single greatest insult in movie history.

2. Scent of a Woman – I’ll Show You Out of Order

Sometimes we need to let people fight for us. That is what happens in this amazing scene with Al Pacino as Lt. Col. Frank Slade defending Charlie. He stands up to the principal who operates with questionable leadership at best, saving the less fortunate Charlie from expulsion.

1. Rocky Balboa – It Ain’t About How Hard Your Hit

Roll with the bunches. Take them off the chin. Keep fighting. How did the best speech come from arguably the worst movie of the series?