Unapologetically Me

The Mighty Ducks Reboot (Per a Friend) – Get This Shit in Production now

I saw my buddy Luke post this to Facebook the other day so all credit goes to him as I unpack this concept and build off his plotline, which was pretty slick.

Present day Minnesota. Charlie Conway is coaching a once dominant high school hockey team in St Paul that hasn’t seen a championship in 10 years under his tenure. Connie and Guy are happily married with a son on the team. Charlie married his high school sweetheart and the marriage is having problems, mostly because he struggled with putting his hockey team before his wife and kids. He is considering a new career but wants to finish with one last minute of glory.

This season is different. Because recently retired pro hockey player Adam Banks arrives back home in Edina and takes a job as assistant coach, trying to deal with what comes after being a pro hockey player. Meanwhile, Terrie and Jesse (Hall), who never left St. Paul, have the only black kids on the team and are experiencing the weight of a post George Floyd Twin Cities era.

Old friends reconnect as the team finds purpose, unity, and resilience for one last run.

Let’s start with Captain Duck himself, Charlie. First and foremost, great foreshadowing because in D2 we saw him understudy the legendary Gordon Bombay to give his spot to Russ Tyler. He said to Bombay then that he would always be a better coach than a player. So no surprise here as he is coaching. I wonder if the Bombay Air Loafer (For Kid’s Who Want To Coach) ever made it through. If so, he is without a doubt wearing those bad boys. Charlie always had his personal issues within the confines of the original trilogy. It makes perfect sense we see him struggling with marriage as he grew up in a single parent household. I hope his mom is doing well. She was a sweet supportive lady. I imagine she appears in the stands cheering like a woman possessed as she did in the other movies.

I love that Connie and Guy have a son on the team. At least we know Guy and Connie finally had sex. What a lucky guy because Connie was and still is a total smoke show. It makes sense to have them as more background pieces to the movie as they were in all three.

No surprise that Banksy went pro. He was always the best Duck and most destined for greatness. What a great tie in to the movie referencing Jesse and Terrie Hall with the only black kids on the team. When the Mighty Ducks came out, Hall often referred to Banks as Cake Eater. Ironically enough, that holds water today given the ongoing conversation with Black Lives Matter and white privilege. Glad to see their friendship is still alive and well. I am sure Jesse’s son is an absolute stud because Jesse was always the second best behind Banksy before his departure in D3. Jesse’s skill with Conway and Banks’ coaching, it starts with a W.

Now, let’s talk about where some of the other Ducks ended up.

Starting with the most obvious, Shaun Weiss aka Greg Goldberg struggles with substance abuse. He returns to Minnesota to take over his family’s deli as he continues to fight addiction. A story actually came out in September after Weiss was arrested in January that he is sober. He actually looks great and healthy again. On a real note, I hope that continues and he slays his demons. I think I can speak for most Mighty Duck fans when I say we are pulling for you Goldie.

That ties us into the Bash Brothers, Dean Portman and Fulton Reed. You may remember that Goldberg became a member of the heralded enforcers in D3 as they wiped the floor with the varsity squad at Eden Hall. Best friends Dean and Fulton began a law firm (Bash Brothers Law) following in Bombay’s footsteps. They spent many of their resources defending and helping their old friend Goldberg. They also happen to be one of the biggest donors for the team.

One of my favorite Ducks in the series is of course the comedic relief that is Lester Averman. The lovable funny man who has a knack for a quick joke and concussions. Averman opened a comedy club in his hometown of Brooklyn Park, Minnesota. He is 100% the play-by-play man for the school putting his own comedic twist using hey batter references and other shit that don’t belong in a hockey broadcast.

Unfortunately for the rest of the Ducks, they all reside in their own home states, but get the proverbial nod at some point in the reboot.

Russ Tyler and his brother started Knuckle Puck Training Academy helping young hockey players learn to talk trash, fight and play the game with a physical edge.

Dwayne Robertson owns a ranch as well as an outdoor sporting good store in Austin, Texas.

Luis Mendoza married the head cheerleader he stole from the dickhead on varsity (name not worth remembering) in D3. He ended up becoming an Olympic Champion in speed skating and never mastered the art of stopping. All his gold medals came with some gnarly crashes in the end.

Kenny Wu enjoyed a successful run back in figure skating. After having his lunch stolen every day, he ended up becoming a school counselor to help kids with bullying.

Last, but not least, Julie “The Cat” Gaffney coaches the UMaine Women’s Hockey Team. Pretty simple stuff here.

The end of the movie features a reunion at Eden Hall Academy with keynote speaker Gordon Bombay and we see all of the Ducks together once again. We even get to see an appearance from Coach Orion. It was then revealed that the new Hockey Complex for Eden Hall paid for by mainly Bash Bros Law, Bombay and others donors was named in honor Hans. After all, it was Hans who taught them to fly.



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