Hotard Huddle

As per request from someone, I am doing another 3 part series of followers choosing my topic. On this blog, I am talking about the top 10 things I cannot live without. Before diving into the top 10, I would like to point out that there are very few things I can’t live without.

Aside from my family and the closest of close friends, I can live without most things. The idea of living without my family pains me to even think about. I would rather be put out of my misery than live without my wife and two kids. They are my reason to wake up every single day. So fuck that noise. I am not even going to write about how depressing that would be.

Instead of taking the approach of things I literally cannot live without, I will talk about 10 things I would rather not live without. Most of these are more trivial things.

10. Laughter

They say laughter is the best medicine. I do my best to laugh as much as possible. There are days where you just need a good laugh. I think it is important to remember that life isn’t THAT serious. Have fun. In the end, we are all dying anyway. May as well make the most of it and have fun along the way. We all have our bad days. Just remember to turn around and laugh it off. Sometimes that is easier said than done, which I understand. Just laugh it off.

9. Trash Talk

If there is something I love to do, it is run my mouth unapologetically. After all, I started a new job in Atlanta recently. On the first day, we were asked to stand up and introduce ourselves to the entire office of probably 45-60 people. I stood up and said “Hi, I am Michael Hotard. I am 29. I am from New Orleans. I just want to say never let anything distract you from the fact that the Falcons blew a 28-3 lead in the Super Bowl.” It took less than a week of working there to start making fun of my bosses. Because why the fuck not?

Most days it is in good fun, but I can go for the throat when pushed enough. Trash talking is a sport in and of itself. I like to think I am pretty good at it.

8. Politics

I am engulfed by it. I am intrigued by the drama. I am intrigued by the idiots. I just can’t turn away from it. Part of the reason I love politics is because of how complex the discussions are. When you talk about it with the right people, it is stimulating, challenging and fun. However, the opposite is equally bad.

As a good friend constantly tells me, argue with someone smarter than you, you likely lose. Argue with someone dumber than you, you always lose. I unfortunately find the latter more than I should.

7. Funkos

As I type this, my funko collection sits in three boxes in the storage part of the basement I am currently dwelling in. It is painful. LET THEM BREATHE!

My wife won’t let me take them out due the tight living space. So I am basically living in a communist ruled environment right now. At least I was able to hang my mob movie painting in my corner of the basement. I started collecting Funko Pop Figures the day Atlanta blew a 28-3 lead in the Super Bowl. Not even remotely joking on that. Someone bought me a Gronk figure. I took it out the box and voila, comeback happens. They are magical and I love them. It is sort of a rag tag random collection of all the things I love. My personal favorites are Doc Holliday from Tombstone, Bob Barker and Happy Gilmore and Alex Trebek RIP. Touch my funkos and I’ll break your face.

6. Video Games

This has been my biggest vice next to drinking, except this one started at 4. Ironically enough, drinking and video games have become my favorite pastime. Having a buzz and playing video games is the perfect combo of happy for me. In fact, tonight I plan to indulge in adult beverages and re-take Rome as Ezio Alditore in Assassin’s Creed II…ON A TUESDAY! My parents bought me a Super Nintendo for my 4th birthday and the rest was history.

5. Fantasy Football

As Pete Eckhart said, there are many things a man can do with his time, but this is better than those things. Fantasy Football is the perfect blend of joy and misery. It is the biggest love hate relationship you can embark on filled with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. From determining the draft order to draft day to wins and losses to the trash talk that comes with it, everything about fantasy football is glorious. When you can impose your will on your friends and rub their nose in it, even fucking better.

4. Recreational Sports

This is one I am currently missing bad. Probably 10 years ago, I started playing flag football on Sundays with my friends. It is something I have managed to keep going and now the torch has been passed. After moving away from my hometown, my friends still play every Sunday. Every Sunday when it gets mentioned, a little wave of jealousy and sadness comes over me. Those Sundays were always something to look forward to each and every week. Spend three hours on a Sunday playing flag football and drinking beer, yes please. If any of you assholes are reading this, always remember…Can’t guard Mike.

3. Pro Sports – NFL, NBA, World Cup

I could easily say pro sports in general. But I’d rather focus on the two leagues I love most and the world event I gush over every couple of years. While I would put the sport of football as my third favorite behind basketball and soccer, the NFL is far and away the most entertaining and best league for me. The schedule makes it so easy to follow plus it is not like most of the other major sports where the season is a marathon.

The NBA, I don’t start following until after the all-star break. I don’t start watching regularly until the playoffs. I don’t need to watch the regular season to know who is good or who has championship potential. This was one of the few years that completely blew my mind with the Heat making the finals, which of course was awesome to see. Most years, I have a pretty stable pulse on the league.

World Cup (both Men and Women), I am absolutely glued to the TV. If I ever have a job where I don’t have access to a TV or can’t have games on in the background while working, Mike is getting fired. It will be worth it. The World Cup is arguably my favorite sporting event next to maybe the NFL draft.

Pro sports have been one of my biggest pleasures for as long as I can remember. That isn’t going away anytime soon.

2. AEW (Pro Wrestling)

This is likely the most prisoner of the moment listing. I have said time and time again that the highs of pro wrestling cannot be compared to most other entertainment industries. Pro wrestling has always been a love affair of mine. I still fantasize about being a pro wrestler at 29 years old. It is the boyhood dream that will never come true, but it also won’t die. I use the gimmick of being a heel in every day life. I think pro wrestling is why I enjoy bantering so much.

AEW has re-ignited a deep love for the industry. I have been stale on wrestling for quite some time now. After a little over a year of regular programming, Wednesday nights is now one of my favorites nights of the week.

1. Hotard Huddle

I love writing and voice work more than anything else on this planet (minus relationships of course). Having the tools, knowledge and confidence to put myself and my opinions out there is one of the most rewarding things I have done for myself. Given how low of a place I was in just 6-7 years ago, I look at the last 4.5 years of doing this and wear it as a badge of honor.

For those who have supported and continue support my writing, my podcasting and all things Hotard Huddle, I will forever appreciate the support on it. If Hotard Huddle every makes me money, great. If it doesn’t, great. When it’s all said and done, I do this because I love it.

You can make fun of it. You can tear it apart. You can think I am an idiot for what I say and how I say it. At the end of the day, my middle fingers will salute you. I am showing people who I am and what I am with no boundaries. It is something most people wouldn’t have the nards to do. If there is ever something you disagree with or don’t like, you’re always welcome to come get destroyed on the podcast about it.

Always remember, Honor the Huddle.

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