Much like the term GOAT, National Treasure has now become loosely defined and probably overused at this point. Who cares though? It’s a great compliment to be called GOAT or National Treasure.
The actual definition states that a national treasure is an artifact, institution, or public figure regarded as being emblematic of a nation’s cultural heritage or identity. I will apply what my definition of a national treasure is. That is someone who cannot be replicated and possesses certain qualities that make them unique.
Here are my 10 Biggest National Treasures (Real or Fictional and some blending of both)…
10. Jane Fonda / Leona Lansing – Actress / Character – The Newsroom
Jane Fonda is a real life national treasure. While the actress has plenty of iconic roles, I want to highlight her portrayal of Leona Lansing in HBO’s The Newsroom. She was the owner of ACN who understood the balance of needing to make money but also honesty. While her earlier portrayal in the show appeared to be a money hungry owner who didn’t care about the facts. She later confesses how proud she was of Will McAvoy and Charlie Skinner for “doing the news.”
Best Quote: Moses and Jesus are playing golf. Moses steps up to the tee and hits a beautiful shot 250 yards straight down the middle of the fairway. Jesus steps up to the tee and hooks the ball into the trees. Jesus looks up into the heavens, raises his arms, and suddenly the sky darkens. A thunder clap rings out, rain pours down, and a stream rises among the trees. The golf ball floating on top finds its way into the mouth of a fish. Then a bird flies down and takes the fish and the ball out over the green, drops it in the cup for a hole-in-one. Jesus turns to Moses with a satisfied grin, and Moses says, ‘Look. You wanna play golf or you wanna fuck around?’
9. Red Forman, Character – That 70s Show
I think I can speak for Red here when I say if he isn’t on your top 10 list…you’re a dumbass.
Quote: “When my time comes, I want to be buried face down, so that anybody that doesn’t like me can kiss my ass.”
8. Tom Hanks, Actor
My favorite actor of all time, period. There is something so genuinely nice about Tom Hanks, both in his roles and the funny shit he tweets. Cue the QAnon dildos who are reading this to trip out. I have always been a massive fan of Hanks and his work. His list of iconic movies and characters is unprecedented. Woody is my favorite Disney character and it was Hanks who voiced him. Forrest Gump is a top 5 movie for me. It was Hanks who starred in it. He has been selected to portray such icons like Walt Disney and Mr. Rogers. Why? Because he is Tom fucking Hanks.
Quote(s): “I can’t stop Andy from growing up. But, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“There’s no crying! There’s no crying in baseball!”
7. Mike Leach, College Football Coach
One of the biggest oddities in sports. Leach is always great for a soundbite or thought that seems so far out there yet so refined. If you ask me if I can have any college football coach on the planet, it’s Mike Leach. He also gave a reporter this amazing response regarding the reporter’s upcoming wedding.
Quote: “Well, outside of Lubbock, expectations aren’t very high. But it’s okay, we play in Lubbock a lot this season.”
6. Stacey Abrams, Politician
When you say her name, you say it with some goddamn reverence. One of the biggest trailblazers for equality is making plenty of noise. That noise was heard this past election when GA turned completely blue. After losing to Brian Kemp for Governor, she played a longer game and hit the GOP where it counted…votes. The nasty and undeserving things that have been said about her from Brian Kemp and others, she just stands there and hits back in more productive ways. She’s a fucking bad ass. There is a tweet from 2019 that says Stacey Abrams is a national treasure. We don’t deserve you, but are forever in gratitude. Facts.
Quote: My being a black woman is not a deficit. It is a strength. Because I could not be where I am had I not overcome so many other barriers. Which means you know I’m relentless, you know I’m persistent, and you know I’m smart.
5. Ron Swanson, Character – Parks and Recs
Arguably the most recognizable TV show character in history, right? Ron is the man. He is bold. He is confident. He is every bit a man’s man. But, in an endearing tough love kind of way. He’s always good for a great Swanologue.
Quote: History began on July 4, 1776. Everything before that was a mistake.
4. George Feeny, Character – Boy Meets World
William Daniels or George Feeny, both are national treasures. I went with the character of Feeny here. He is hands down my favorite TV show character. Without Mr. Feeny, Boy Meets World just isn’t the same. When the pandemic started, one of my friends said “if they just get George Feeny on this, it would be over in 22 minutes.” I don’t see a lie. It’s crazy how attached you can be to celebrities let alone characters they portray. There just isn’t a TV show character who I just genuinely love as much as George Feeny. Watching as a child or as an adult, there are so many wonderful lessons to be learned from him. So many are still so relevant in 2021. It’s truly remarkable.
Quote: Guttenburg’s generation thirsted for a new book every six months. Your generation gets a new webpage every six seconds. And how do you use this technology? To beat King Koopa and save the princess. Shame on you. You deserve what you get.
3. Kevin Harlan, Sports Announcer
As someone who has experience doing play-by-play and color commentary, I am envious of how great Kevin Harlan actually is. His voice is unbelievable. What makes him the best to do it, and yes I think he is THE absolute best, is that no moment is ever too big for his call. Nothing throws him off his game. There is no reason why Kevin Harlan should not have a contract with every major network. If every network could come together for something, it’s Kevin Harlan. He should be calling every single Super Bowl, every single NBA Finals, every single World Series and every major event in between.
Quote: “PULL UP YOUR PANTS! TAKE OFF THE BRA AND BE A MAN”
2. Mr. Rogers, Children’s Television Programming
It feels wrong to call him Fred Rogers in the title. Mr. Rogers is one of the most genuine people this planet has ever seen. So warm. So kind. So gentle. Just an amazing soul. He’s truly someone you feel the world was robbed of with his passing. He changed the landscape of television when he testified in front of Congress requesting funding. His tv show certainly made it’s way into my childhood and I am certainly not alone.
Quote: “Mutual caring relationships require kindness and patience, tolerance, optimism, joy in the other’s achievements, confidence in oneself, and the ability to give without undue thought of gain.”
1. Betty White, Actress
Ohhh Betty, sweet, vulgar Betty. She’s just fun for so many reasons. Each year passes, she just keeps getting better with age.
Quote: “If I had a dick, this is where I’d tell you to suck it.”
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