Unapologetically Me

What’s the biggest change in your life from the Covid-19 pandemic?

Wild. That is the first word that comes to mind thinking about where we were in 3 years ago.

At this point, we had already experienced restrictions in Louisiana. I was worried about the impact on my pregnant wife, my unborn and small child. I remember sitting in my carport and my son didn’t want to get out of the car. He just wanted to sit in the driver seat and pretend to drive. I still have the video of him listening to Love Yourself by Justin Bieber, singing along. Poor kid had no idea how much his world was about to be shook.

I just remember sitting in the passenger seat wondering what the hell is going to happen. I was running a digital marketing agency at the time. There were just countless things I was concerned about.

My wife and I took what was happening very seriously. We were staying home. Getting groceries delivered to us. Disinfecting like crazy. It was just wild.

Here we are 3 years later, I have since been vaxxed and double boosted. The arm growing out of my ass is a little inconvenient, but we are getting used to one another at this point.

At this point, things have seemingly gone back to normal for me mostly.

There are two very distinct differences since Covid for me personally. Both of which have to do with my hands. Which seems weird in and of itself, but hear me out.

The first is sanitization. I was not consciously aware of touching public spaces and sanitizing my hands prior to all this. I never thought twice about touching a doorknob, shopping cart or a handrail for stairs. Now, I feel filthy when I touch those things. I make sure I sanitize my hands as soon as possible after touching things that hundreds of others have touched.

The second is shaking hands with people. When I have walked into job interviews or social settings that require hand shakes, it just feels icky. I do reluctantly.

What’s even more awkward is sanitizing immediately after while talking the person. I feel like I am sending a signal of my hands are too good for yours. It feels like a heel move.

I remember back in WWE when JBL had the stock broker gimmick during his title run. The premise was the whole “I am a good guy who shakes hands and kisses babies” kind of deal. I remember he would immediately sanitize afterwards.

I feel the same way now. I am sure you weren’t just scratching your butthole and what not, but still.

Side note, that is twice I’ve referenced hands and asses. We’re just going to roll with it though.

If I am being completely honest about it, I hated shaking hands to begin with. Not because of the germs or anything like that. I just genuinely hate the formality of it. I would much rather fist bump someone I am meeting for the first time with “good to meet you dude” versus a handshake with “Nice to meet you sir.” All prim and proper and shit. It’s gross. I hate it. It’s not me.

Once I do get to know you well enough, I much prefer a fist bump or the handshake to hug thing. For the closest of friends, just come in for the real thing. By real thing, I don’t mean butthole touching. I feel like that needed to be stated at this point. Just your basic “what up bro” kind of hug.

Maybe the germ factor of shaking hands gave me more reason to just hate it. Even though hugs mean closer face to face, but life doesn’t make sense anyway.

Feel free to share yours in the comments or on the Hotard Huddle social media.


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