After concluding my 21st trip to the Happiest Place on Earth, I decided to do a ranking of my favorite rides divided up by the parks. I will rank my Top 5 Attractions at each park and conclude with my Top 5 Overall.
MAGIC KINGDOM
Let’s go ahead and start with the flagship park of Disney World. In terms of abundance, Magic Kingdom has plenty of rides to choose from for all ages. Not all are necessarily thrilling. Nearly all of them are fun and have their place. YES, even Small World.
5- Haunted Mansion
The theming of the attraction is one of the best. It is certainly one of the most quotable in all of the parks. It’s just a ton of fun traveling through the mansion. The dining room with the ballroom dancers never gets old. The graveyard blasting Grim Grinning Ghosts is a ton of fun.
4- Space Mountain
Even though the top speed of space is only 27 mph, this ride still manages to tickle my stomach from the sudden drops and turns.
3- Carousel of Progress
If you don’t like this attraction, we can’t be friends. Some originals are not to be fucked with. This is one of them. Always remember, there’s a great big beautiful tomorrow.
2- Pirates of Caribbean
The music alone makes this ride one of the best. The Pirate’s life is definitely for me. This will forever be a favorite of mine. The music, the smells, the scenes, all of it is just *chef’s kiss.*
1- Tron Lightcycle Run
AAAAAAAND NEWWWWWW CHAMPION. TRON! We were able to get the virtual queue both days on our last trip and neither ride disappointed. I will say, there isn’t much of a storyline to it. In this case, it’s ok given the theme.
Animal Kingdom
Next up is Animal Kingdom. While there are not a ton of rides at Animal Kingdom, it does have some absolute bangers. The appeal to Animal Kingdom is the overall theming, the wildlife, the street shows and the music. Also some of the best dining spots. Just because it lacks quantity of attractions, the park definitely doesn’t lack quality for experience.
5- It’s Tough to be a Bug
A Bug’s Life is one of my favorite childhood movies so I am giving it the nod solely for that.
4- Kilimanjaro Safaris
I love animals and learning about their habits. So this is always fun and educational. It can be hit or miss with some of the things you see. It is still fun nonetheless.
3- Dinosaur
I honestly used to hate this ride when I first started going to Disney. It scared the shit out of me. Now, I absolutely love it. The storyline plus the quotability makes the ride for me.
2- Expedition Everest
Another longstanding favorite of mine. It was an instant favorite. Definitely still stands as one of the best thrill rides in all 4 parks.
1- Avatar Flight of Passage
Bone chilling and uplifting. That is what I use to describe it. They knocked it out of the park with this one. The scenery is incredible. It provides a good dosage of thrill.
EPCOT
Let’s be real, you go to EPCOT to eat good food and get twisted and sprinkle some rides. EPCOT low key has some of the best rides that probably do not get talked about enough.
5- Spaceship Earth
If you can read this, thank the Phoenicians.
4- Frozen Ever After
One of the best re-themes Disney has ever done BY FAR. Just a fun boat ride where you get to belt out all the best Frozen songs. Sign me up.
3- Remy’s Ratatouille Adventure
This was a great addition to the World Showcase. I love the aesthetics of the line to get to the ride. I love the smells and the thrill the ride gives as you are running around the kitchen.
2- Soarin’
Much like Flight of the Passage, there is a certain level of serenity to it. The score for it is second to none.
1- Guardians of the Galaxy – Cosmic Rewind
Oh man. Oh man. This is the one. I love the ride itself. Hands down, the best coaster Disney World has to offer. I love the line and storyline that goes along with it as well. Chris Pratt and Batista are fucking hilarious.
Honorable Mentions: Test Track, Living with the Land
Hollywood Studios
My favorite park of the bunch by far. I love the feeling of walking down Sunset Blvd while some instrumentals of some of the best crooners play. It puts me in a great mood before knocking out some of my favorite rides in all of the parks.
5- Slinky Dog Dash
HANG ON! This is just a fun coaster through Andy’s backyard.
4- Mickey and Minnie’s Runaway Railway
Nothing can stop us nowwwww! I was honestly terrified of The Great Movie Ride being closed. I don’t know that I would say this is better, but I do love it. It’s super cute. It also gives Mickey a mainstream attraction.
3- Toy Story Mania
This is an absolute must do for me every time we go to Hollywood Studios. It scratched that competitive itch for me. The games are a ton of fun.
2- Tower of Terror
If I was a cast member, this is the attraction I would want to work on. They are hilariously morbid. The entire experience from the Twilight Zone pre-show to them getting you out of the elevator is one of the best start to finish.
1- Star Wars: Rise of the Resistance
I don’t know that anything will ever come close to the first time I rode Rise. The anxiety it gave me when we get “captured” and walking into the room of stormtroopers was insane. How much you move and go to different places throughout just blew my fucking mind.
OVERALL TOP 5 DISNEY ATTRACTIONS
5- Tower of Terror
4- Avatar Flight of Passage
3- Star Wars: Rise of the Resistance
2- Tron Lightcycle Run
1- Guardians of the Galaxy – Cosmic Rewind
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