LSU is set to open the season today at 2:30 pm against Wisconsin at one of the most legendary sports venues, Lambeau Field.
Most fans have set a high bar for the Tigers to make some noise in the SEC and for the love of God, beat Nick Saban and the Alabama Crimson Tide.
For the record, I am not an LSU fanboy despite living in South Louisiana. I just hate Nick Saban because the guy does nothing but complain about no huddle offenses and satellite camps. For a guy who wins so much, he needs to gently remove the tampon and relax. Enough about that crotch stain though.
Every year, I get to hear many fans and local media (those stupid idiots) complain about LSU head coach Les Miles. Grab yourself some cheese to go with the whine.
I want you jackasses to realize something very important. Miles coaches a team in the SEC, you know the conference you defend vehemently about how great it is. To add some spice to that, he coaches in the SEC West, the best division in the best conference of college football. No easy task.
I understand that LSU fans are spoiled because of the success in the last 10-12 years, but firing Les Miles would be an astronomical mistake. It almost happened last year when that buttplug Joe Alleva, the LSU Athletic Director, was ready to pull the plug.
I understand that last year was a tough pill to swallow because after a 7-0 start, the Tigers lost three in a row as everyone quickly watched national championship hopes float away.
I know Miles has made some shaky decisions during crucial situations in his career. We have seen everything from Miles. We have seen clock mismanagement. We have seen a failed fake field goal on 4th and 12. We have seen a 63-yard field goal attempt fail. Most people bitched about those things, which is fair.
Just remember, we have also seen some ballsy coaching that paid off. Down by three to Florida, Miles said fuck the tie. He went for the win with a fake field goal and it paid off. He pulled a 20 yard gain on a 4th and 1 reverse against Bama. No one will ever forget the Florida game in 2007 during the championship run when Miles converted 5 for 5 on 4th downs.
There is a reason his nickname is the Mad Hatter. He is a high risk, high reward coach. Sometimes it pays off and sometimes doesn’t. That is part of rolling the dice. That is one of the many things I love about him. 
But let’s take a step back and take a look at the resume’ Miles has put together in Baton Rouge…
- 112-32
- (7) 10+ win seasons
- (2) National Championship Appearances
- (1) National Championship Win
- 7-4 in Bowl games
- 2-1 BCS Bowls
- (9) Top-10 Recruit Classes
- (2) SEC Titles
- (3) SEC West Titles
To play devil’s advocate, I understand that sports are not about what have you done, but what have you done lately. The last two years have not been so great as LSU has compiled a 17-8 record. Miles had similar stretch in 2008 and 2009 where he went 17-9 so it has happened before. He went on to have double digit victories the next four years.
At a bare minimum, I would give Miles two more years to see if this is the beginning of a downward spiral or just another rough patch.
The MOST important question if Miles is fired
Who the hell are you going to get?
There was plenty of talk last year about Jimbo Fisher until Alleva fucked that up royally. Fisher would be a fine hire. But let’s assume that the ship on Jimbo has officially sailed. You’re not left with much.
Currently, there are only five coaches I would honestly take to replace Miles. Most of them have zero shot of going to Baton Rouge.
Let’s start with the obvious choice…
Nick Saban
As much as I despise this kumquat, he is still arguably (arguably-key word 😉 )the best coach in college football. The guy is not leaving Alabama and even if you do hire him, how much longer is he actually going to coach?
Urban Meyer
Again, dude is set where he is at Ohio State. Meyer isn’t leaving a historic program like Ohio State for LSU. It just won’t happen. Plus, he already proved he can win in the SEC.
Jim Harbaugh
I would lose my shit if Jim Harbaugh came to Louisiana in any capacity and I would become the biggest fan on the planet for that school, much like I jumped on the Michigan bandwagon. He is the BEST overall football coach on the planet, period. He has done it at the college and pro level. Again, pretty set where he is though.
Brian Kelly
You are not pulling him away from Notre Dame without a high price. There is not nearly as much pressure to win a National Championship because you know, academics and shit are important to South Bend.
Chip Kelly
This is the only real option I could see if San Francisco flops in the next few years. He certainly proved his worth at the college ranks bringing Oregon to the level of a premier program. My favorite part about Chip going to LSU would be watching Saban shit his pants because of the up-tempo style.
The Risk Factor
So if you can’t land one of these coaches, why the hell is it worth the risk letting go of a proven coach and setting yourself back?
Don’t fire Les Miles unless you have a plan A, B, C, and so on. If you are going to make that bold of move, you best have a damn good reason and a damn good option to follow.
So to Alleva and the fans who fish for reasons to let go of a top 10 coach…
THERE’S ONLY ONE WORD TO DESCRIBE YOU AND I’M GONNA SPELL IT OUT FOR YA…
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