ABC Series Part I – Movies

I was driving recently and you know how car thoughts can be, random as hell. I don’t know why it popped in my head but I started thinking about a year long project my 5th grade Reading/English teacher had us do. It was an ABC booklet where we picked something that started with the corresponding letter and each Friday we presented our selection until we made it to Z.

We had to draw a picture and tell the class five facts about it. I actually had a lot of fun doing it. All these years later, I still remember it so clearly it meant something to me. I decided to do an entire ABC series if you will, I am going to dive into several subcategories and list the first one that pops in my head from A-Z. Then, I will list 5 thoughts about them. The first topic is movies. Here we go.

A – Aladdin

• The Genie is one of the greatest Disney characters ever. RIP Robin Williams
• The soundtrack is amazing.
• A Whole New World is one of the most fun Disney songs to sing.
• I am not sure why but the fact that actor Scott Weigner (DJ Tanner’s boyfriend) plays Aladdin always makes me laugh. The fact they broke the 4th wall on that in Full House was even better.
• I haven’t seen the new one yet, but I need to. Will Smith is the man and I was perfectly fine with how he looked. Haters can shut it.

B – The Breakfast Club

• Eat My Shorts.
• John Hughes movies are some of the best and I am total nerd for the Brat Pack.
• You ought to spend a little more time trying to make something of yourself and a little less time trying to impress people.
• This is easily top 3 movies for me. Not debatable.
• I can literally quote the entire movie start to finish because I watched it so much as a kid.

C – Crawl

• I am a sucker for animal killer movies.
• I thought it was awesome and probably my favorite of the genre since jaws.
• Part of that is my obsession with alligators.
• I spent the entire movie covering my ears because screw jumping scenes.
• Mama said alligators are ornery cuz dey got all dem teeth but no toothbrush.

D – Draft Day

• Vontae Mack no matter what.
• Kevin Costner is underrated.
• Every NFL or Fantasy Football fan should see this. It is part of my pre fantasy draft ritual in addition to watching the series The League.
• I had so much anxiety watching it the first time.
• I want all my picks back and David Goddamn Putney just because I feel like it.

E – Elf

• Buddy the Elf What’s Your Favorite Color?
• Peter Dinklage cameo for the win.
• Will Ferrell is the man.
• The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.
• It took me until about 5 years after the release to realize Jovi was played by Zooey Deschanel.

F – Fast Times At Ridgemont High

• What an underrated classic.
• I loved the insane amount of Phoebe Cates references in Stranger Things this season.
• Sean Penn as Jeff Spicoli is an all-timer.
• Mr. Hand was an absolute dick.
• Back to Pheobe Cates, damn she’s hot.

G – The Godfather

• The Godfather Part I is the best.
• Sonny Corleone is my favorite of the family.
• Anyone else feel bad for Fredo?
• This is easily my favorite trilogy ever.
• Godfather Part I and II both rank among my Top 10 Favorite movies ever. Part I being my favorite movie of all time.

H – Half Baked

• I actually watched this a few months ago. Still hilarious.
• I find it funny that the guy who plays Kenny voices Bob on Puppy Dog Pals. I am such a Dad.
• Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck dick for coke. Bob Saget is a legend.
• How did he actually pull off the role of Danny Tanner?
• I wanna talk to Sampson!

I – Inception

• Another one of my all time favorites.
• The cast for the movie is absolutely bonkers.
• He made it home in the end. (I will explain this another day)
• Leo should have won an Oscar for this and 5 other movies minimum.
• I always find the meme funny that says Inception was the sequel to Titanic because it started with Leo waking up on a beach. JACK MADE IT YALL!

J – Jeepers Creepers

• Weird Movie.
• What the hell was that thing?
• Justin Long should have never went down the pipe.
• That truck still creeps me the hell out.
• I am never going into a corn field with a scarecrow…ever.

K – Kindergaten Cop

• IT’S NOT A TUMOR.
• My name is John Kimble and I love my car.
• Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina.
• The principal in this movie is hilarious.
• Now tell me, how did it feel to hit that son of a bitch?

L – Liar Liar

• The bloopers at the end are hilarious.
• I was at a bar with friends after brunch one day and this movie came on and someone said guess the movie during the intro. As soon as I saw “imagine” pop up, I called it. Won a free beer.
• This one of the most quotable movies ever.
• I remember after my sister’s high school dances, I used to wake up and there would be a bunch of people in the living passed out or watching this.
• Honorable, pfffff.

M – Mighty Ducks

• Quack. Quack. Quack. Quack.
• Gordon Bombay is the GOAT of coaching.
• Flying V.
• Charlie Conway went from spazway to team leader. What a come up story.
• Dean Portman is the real MVP of that squad. Don’t @ me

N – Never Back Down

• Sean Faris looks like Tom Cruise.
• What ever happened to Cam Gigandet?
• The fight scenes were amazing in this.
• One of the most underrated sports movies.
• Djimon Houson is a boss.

O – Office Space

• I realize I am Bill Lumberg.
• That’d be great.
• Gary Cole is the man.
• Poor Samir. The guy just wanted his name pronounced correctly.
• What a win for Milton. Am I right?

P – Parenthood

• I loved this movie as a child. I watched it regularly.
• Steve Martin is hilarious.
• YOU MADE HIM PLAY SECOND BASE.
• Keanu Reeves as Todd was glorious.
• This is my son…Cool. That guy was a total dirtbag.

Q – Quints

• I am pretty sure it is the only movie I can even name with Q considering it took me a good 3-4 minutes to come up with.
• Kimberly J. Brown was a pretty big Disney star back in the day.
• I can’t imagine that many children at once.
• Nothing is coming to mind about the movie honestly.
• Yup. I am stumped.

R – Remember the Titans

• STRONG SIDE. LEFT SIDE.
• Thanks for teaching me the veer, Rev.
• Racism sucks.
• You’re a Hall of Famer in my book.
• Sunshine is the best movie QB. Don’t @ me.

S – Scream

• What’s your favorite scary movie?
• Ironically enough, the one I mentioned for the letter S.
• Why did Stu Macher have to be a killer? Such a great character.
• His mom and dad are gonna be so mad at him.
• The opening scene to that movie is easily the best horror movie opening of all time.

T – Toy Story

• I AM MRS. NESBIT!
• Woody and Buzz is one of the best bromances of all time.
• Woody is my favorite Disney character of all-time.
• Because Tom Hanks is an absolute stud of an actor.
• Wallace Shawn as Rex was the perfect pick for that.

U – Under Siege

• Steven Segal will absolutely destroy you.
• Casey Ryback, what a hell of a name for an ass kicker.
• Gary Busey and Tommy Lee Jones were amazing as villains.
• The hand to hand combat in his movies have always been some of the best.
• I still can’t believe he was a police officer in Jefferson Parish.

V – The Vow

• That is a sad movie and tough to watch.
• Rachel McAdams used to be such a stud actress and now has fallen off the map a bit.
• Her family in the movie sucked.
• I can’t imagine ever going through that with my wife.
• Agree to disagree on Red Velvet Cake.

W – Wedding Crashers

• Rule 74: No excuses play like a champion.
• Let’s go kill some birds I’m psyched.
• I am going to do nothing but quote this movie on Friday when I stand in one of my best friend’s wedding.
• Sheamus O’Toole, Bobby O’Shea, let’s get drunk
• MA! The MEATLOAF!

X – X-Men: First Class

• Kevin Bacon is such a great villain.
• This goes down as a top 3 superhero movie for me.
• I remember one Summer after it came out watching this on repeat because it was always on HBO.
• Mutant and proud.
• I kind of sided with Magneto on this one.

Y – Yes Man

• Jumper by Third Eye Blind.
• Surprisingly decent movie.
• Jim Carrey before he went crazy was awesome.
• Norm and Ca!
• Also apparently rejecting oral sex from the elderly leads to major down falls in life.

Z – Zombieland

• Woody Harrelson, what’s not to love!?
• Did this movie make anyone else actually think Twinkies were delicious?
• Seeing and studying this movie has made me more prepared for an apocalypse.
• Good thing I have great cardio naturally.
• Who is stupid enough to not double tap, honestly?