I joked on my latest episode of the pod that I opted to see Scream 5 instead of Spiderman No Way Home a few weeks ago. My affinity and adoration for the Scream franchise runs deep. When I saw the first movie as a 6 or 7 year old kid, I loved every second of it. I have been an avid fan since.

I love how meta the movies are. I love that they are a perfect blend of comedy while horrifying, shocking and full of twists.

In fact, when Scream 4 came out, I saw it 4 times in theatres. Although I doubt I will see the latest installment that many times. I no longer have that kind of time. It opened on Thursday and I saw it on Friday because I couldn’t wait a long time to get my fix.

Spoilers Ahead

The Opening

One of the best parts of every Scream movie is indeed the opening. The original is not to be fucked with in that regard. Every Scream movie has been great in their own way.

In Scream, we saw Casey Becker get sliced and diced and her boyfriend Steve get gutted after a series of phone calls and of course playing the classic game of horror movie trivia. With Drew Barrymore being on the movie poster and being casted, it was a shock seeing her killed in the opening scene.

Luckily, they have managed to create other great openings in every film after. Recapping those…

Scream 2 featured a movie theatre slaying at the premiere of Stab, a movie about the events of Woodsboro in Scream. Then in Scream 3, we see the open with Cotton Weary (one of my favorites) get the infamous call as Ghostface stalking his girlfriend at their home. We see the beloved Cotton get got along with his girlfriend. Scream 4 took a more comedic approach by showing the opening of Stab 6 being watched by two people which was the opening to Stab 7. That was actually being watched by the first victims of Scream 4. The audience at every showing I saw was laughing hysterically after the first twist and even more so after the second one.

That made me wonder how would the 5th installment open. To my surprise, the first attack victim actually survived. It was all part of the plan to get her sister back to town as part of some master plan by the victim’s best friend and sister’s boyfriend, go figure.

Dewey’s Death

I knew it was coming, but it was still shocking to see it happen. Dewey is one of the franchise’s most beloved characters. After Sidney, Dewey and Gale survived the events of Scream 4, it felt like one of them had to die in this one. In the film, Dewey alluded to the fact he has survived being stabbed 9 times. Not this time. You still wondered if he was wrongly left for dead, but then he was wheeled out of the hospital in a bodybag. RIP Dewey.

Billy’s Daughter

We find out Sam (the sister being lured back) is the daughter of the OG Billy fucking Loomis. She left town scared she would turn out like him. Seeing Skeet Ulrich reprise his role in hallucinations was awesome. We saw Sam go absolutely ape shit on her boyfriend stabbing him incessantly. It makes you wonder if this is a one time thing or if this is potential for more to come.

Sidney Drops Another Golden One Liner

I am a sucker for one liners and damn it, one got delivered. After telling Jill don’t fuck with the original in Scream 4, she drops another dynamite line in Scream (5). Dewey calls to break the news it is happening again. He asks if she has a gun. Her response, “I am Sidney Fucking Prescott. Of course I have a gun.” Legendary.

The Motive is Meta Beyond Belief

While most people are trashing the motives behind this installment’s two killers, I won’t. While it is not my favorite of motives, it fits 2022. That is ultimately when the movie is made so it makes sense. The movie dives into Gen Z loving elevated horror and all the elitist bullshit. Richie (the boyfriend) is a super fan and wants to rewrite Stab 8 after the movie within the movie goes off the rails. Meanwhile, Amber (best friend) claims the message boards made her do it. Pretty typical for the Scream franchise. Entertaining nonetheless.

Ranking All the Killers

9. Charlie Walker (Scream 4)

Although he was one of the most surprising on the list and his reveal was pretty dope “killing” his love interest Kirby. But, he was sloppy as hell as Ghostface. There is speculation alluded to in Scream 5 that Kirby is in fact alive.

Total Kill Count: 2, maybe 3

8. Mrs. Loomis (Scream 2)

After a lot of work was done, no one recognized Mrs. Loomis. Instead, they thought it was good ole, annoying reporter named Debbie Salt. She paid for her accomplice to attend college with Sidney to enact revenge for her Billy. She will forever be one of the most loathed for killing Randy.

Total Kill Count: 1

7. Amber Freeman (Scream 5)

I pinned her as the killer pretty early on. She was pretty dark, twisted and sadistic from the get go. She was the one who put down Dewey and in a pretty way slicing down his spine.

Total Kill Count: 4

6. Richie Kirsch (Scream 5)

Honestly, Richie did a fantastic job of hiding the fact he was in fact a killer. I figured him out very late in the movie. However, there was still some shock to his reveal. Plus, this guy took out the town’s sheriff and son in broad fucking daylight.

Total Kill Count: 2

5. Roman Bridger (Scream 3)

The only solo killer in the series thus far. It was well known that Maureen Prescott was a slut. In fact, she had an illegitimate son that she turned her back on. Enter Roman. He was hired to direct Stab 3. He decided to begin killing all of the cast, along with a few others. He took out Cotton Weary, who was one of my favorite characters.

Total Kill Count: 9

4. Mickey Altieri (Scream 2)

Mickey was always one of my favorites. I thought he was funny and interesting as a character. Even though he gives off killer vibes, I was still somewhat shocked when he was revealed. I was also a child when I first saw it so I don’t know.

Total Kill Count: 7

3. Jill Roberts (Scream 4)

Jill was cold, cold. She killed her own mother for God sake. She went on her killing spree with the help of Charlie to be the sole survivor and be the new Sidney. I was absolutely fucking mind blown watching Scream 4 and seeing her unmask herself in the end.

Total Kill Count: 7

2. Stu Macher (Scream)

The one Ghostface I actively rooted for not to die. Stu was absolutely hilarious throughout the movie, obviously because Matthew Lillard.

Total Kill Count: 2

1. Billy Loomis (Scream)

The OG. Billy Loomis is the scariest of any Ghostface. Not only did he kill his friends, he killed Sid’s mother a year earlier and effectively framed Cotton Weary. Even though, he covered every track throughout Scream, his vibe screamed killer.

Total Kill Count: 4 (including Maureen)

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